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Mind Love • Modern Mindfulness to Think, Feel, and Live Well

Hell, Guilt, and Control: How Fear-Based Religion Keeps You Stuck with Brian Recker • 392

Mind Love • Modern Mindfulness to Think, Feel, and Live Well

Melissa Monte | Mindset Mentor

Mental Health, Education, Self-improvement, Health & Fitness

4.9897 Ratings

🗓️ 11 March 2025

⏱️ 73 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

In this episode, you’ll learn: Why the concept of hell might be more about control than truth How fear-based faith blocks real spiritual growth What it actually means to reclaim your beliefs in a way that serves you What happens when the foundation of your beliefs starts to crack? When the things you were raised to accept without question suddenly don’t make sense? Maybe you've felt it—that moment when your gut tells you something is off, but everything in you resists pulling the thread. Because you know if you do, the whole thing might unravel. I know that moment well. I was raised to believe certain things were absolute. Hell. Sin. Salvation. The idea that if you followed the rules, you were safe—and if you didn’t, eternal torment was waiting. No room for debate. No space for doubt.  And to be honest, I always had questions. But for a long time, I was afraid to ask them. I thought maybe I wasn’t one of the chosen ones because I had them in the first place. That fear kept me in line. It made me second-guess my own thoughts. It made me wonder if I was broken for not being able to just believe like everyone else seemed to. At the same time, the loudest voices in religion seem more concerned with power than with actual connection to God. It’s not just about personal belief anymore. It’s politics. It’s legislation. It’s shaping entire systems. And the question is—are we willing to look at it for what it really is? Today, our guest is Brian Recker—a former pastor who went through his own deep reckoning with faith. He spent years unraveling harmful religious teachings, redefining spirituality outside of fear, and helping others reclaim their beliefs in a way that actually leads to freedom. Links from the episode: Show Notes: mindlove.com/392 https://mindlove.com/reframe  Join the Mind Love Collective Sign up for The Morning Mind Love for short daily notes to wake up inspired Support Mind Love Sponsors Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0

What happens when the very foundation of your beliefs starts to crack?

0:07.0

When the things that you were raised to accept without question suddenly don't make very much sense.

0:13.0

Maybe you felt it. That moment, when your gut just tells you something is off.

0:18.0

But everything in you resist pulling the thread because you know if you do,

0:22.1

the whole thing might unravel. I know that moment well. I was raised to believe certain things

0:28.2

were absolute. Hell, sin, salvation. The idea that if you followed the rules, you were safe,

0:36.2

and if you didn't, eternal torment was waiting.

0:40.0

No room for debate, no space for doubt.

0:42.8

And to be honest, I always had questions.

0:45.8

But for a long time, I was afraid to ask them.

0:49.2

I thought maybe I wasn't one of the chosen ones because I had these questions in the first

0:53.4

place. And that fear kept me in line.

0:56.0

It made me second guess my own thoughts.

0:58.0

It made me wonder if I was broken for not being able to just believe,

1:02.0

just have faith, like everyone else seemed to.

1:05.0

But then life forced me to look closer.

1:08.0

To be fair, it's not like the people around me knew what had happened. When they

1:13.1

found out that I was sexually active, they didn't ask questions. They didn't wonder how I got there,

1:18.6

or if I was okay. They just categorized me. A sinner. A lost girl. Someone they didn't want their

1:25.6

kids hanging out with. And honestly, I needed someone to help me unravel it, because at the time, even I didn't

1:32.3

realize what had happened to me was an assault.

1:35.3

I wasn't even conscious when it happened, but I didn't put that together until years later.

...

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