Hegseth Lectures "Fat Generals" and Trump Threatens War Against U.S. Cities | Cristela Alonzo

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Comedy Central

Comedy, Daily News, News

4.4 • 13.5K Ratings

🗓️ 1 October 2025

⏱️ 36 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Ronny Chieng recaps Pete Hegseth and Donald Trump's sudden gathering of top military leaders, where the president announced his intention to use Democrat-run cities as training grounds for the National Guard, and where Secretary of War Pete Hegseth fat-shamed troops, hawked his book, and made cringey jokes. Ricky Velez unpacks how the ubiquity of online sports betting has become a problem for Las Vegas casinos and an even bigger problem for American men, and how, instead of trying to protect people from these billion-dollar gambling apps, Trump is just taking a cut for himself. Comedian Cristela Alonzo sits down with Ronny to discuss comedy institutions, the American dream, and her new Netflix special, "Upper Classy." They talk about paying homage to comedy and participating in its evolution, using joy as an act of resistance, how politicians focus on the middle class and forget the lower class, and what she learned growing up in Texas with an undocumented mother. Plus, a special appearance from Ronny’s mom! Keep it classic and cool this fall—with long-lasting staples from Quince. Go to https://Quince.com/DAILYSHOW for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	You're listening to Comedy Central.
0:06.5	From the most trusted journalists at Comedy Central,
0:10.6	it's America's only sorts for new.
0:13.8	This is The Daily Show with your host, Ronnie T.
0:18.2	Thank you. Ronnie! Welcome to the daily show.
0:35.6	We got so much to talk about tonight.
0:39.0	Pete Hegseth has his own Battle of the Bulge.
0:41.5	The National Guard adds more tour dates.
0:43.9	And I bet you 50 bucks.
0:45.5	Gambling is going to destroy American society.
0:48.0	So let's get into the headlines.
0:59.4	Let's start with America's military, the Karen of the world.
1:03.2	They just will not stay out of other countries' business.
1:10.0	And leading this military is Pete Hegsef, who you might think is the Secretary of Defense.
1:11.8	But you'll be wrong.
1:14.2	He's rebranded himself,
1:16.7	the Secretary of War.
1:22.1	You know how cool guys always give themselves nicknames. And as part of this military makeover,
1:26.1	last week the Secretary announced a surprise meeting.
1:29.3	Tonight in an unprecedented move, Secretary Pete Hagezeph, asking all U.S. general officers and admirals around the world to gather at the U.S. Marine Base in Quantico, Virginia.
1:41.9	A meeting of this size in person and on such short notice is extremely rare.
1:47.0	It's going to also potentially be a security risk given the sheer number of military officials
	...

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