Well, I'm in prison, although fortunately I'm here as a journalist and not as an inmate.

So far, just went through the metal detector, met my handlers, nice people, you'll hear from them momentarily,

and I am gearing up for a full day of investigating life here in the clink.

Welcome to Prison Week right here on the political orphanage.

Well, you wake up in the morning, you hear the work bell ring.

And they march you to the table.

You see the same old thing.

Hello and welcome to the political orphanage, a home for plucky misfits and problem solvers.

I'm your host, Andrew Heaton, a man who has been keenly interested in criminal justice reform for some years,

and for that reason, journeyed all

the way to New England to personally spend a day inside of a penitentiary, the scenic Maine

Correctional Center in Wyndham, Maine, my favorite prison.

Folks, this is a different sort of episode than we usually do because not only is it a

travelogue, I am bringing you along with me on the tour of the prison beat by beat.

So you're not going to hear me tell you about it in retrospect when I'm done and I'm back

at the hotel, as I usually do.

Rather, you are going to come along

right with me, tucked into my pocket as I eat lunch with felons, chat up, guards, and pet an

astonishing number of dogs. For that reason, this is also the worst audio quality in the history

of the program. If at some point you find yourself thinking,

my God, where did Heaton record this inside of a prison? The answer is yes. I literally went inside

of a prison to record this. You're welcome. Why, Maine? You ask. It's not prison season right now, is it? Well, two reasons. First,

...