“Heart Change, Not Behavior Modification”

COURAGEOUS PARENTING

Isaac & Angie Tolpin - CourageousParenting.com

Kids & Family, Religion & Spirituality, Society & Culture, Christianity, Parenting, Relationships

4.9 • 2.3K Ratings

🗓️ 5 October 2021

⏱️ 32 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

We all want obedient and respectful kids but the usual behavior modification approach just doesn’t work very well long term. It’s like pulling weeds but leaving the roots. You’ve got to get to the root of the issue which is your kids' heart. Do you have your kids' hearts? Is your focus to get their obedience or to focus on the heart of the issue? Let’s point our kids to Jesus in the midst of conflict. When they disobey you they are disobeying God. When you’re focused on the heart it transforms your whole mindset and approach to correcting your kids. All show notes, scripture references, and resources mentioned are found at COURAGEOUSPARENTING.COM.

Transcript

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0:00.0	Welcome to Crages Parenting Podcast, a weekly show to quit parents with biblical truth on raising
0:04.9	confident Christian kids in an uncertain world. Hi, I'm Angie from Crages Mom. And I'm Isaac from
0:10.7	Resolute Man. We've been married for 21 years and have seen the fruit from raising our 8 kids
0:15.8	biblically based on the raw truth found in the Bible. We can no longer let the culture win the
0:21.2	hearts of children. Too many children from Christian families are walking away from their faith
0:25.4	by age 18 and it doesn't have to be this way. It shouldn't be this way. Join us as we start an
0:31.0	important conversation about effective parenting. Hey, welcome to the podcast. Hey guys. How you doing?
0:39.7	We are so excited to talk to you about a really crucial but very, very sweet and to the point topic
0:49.2	today. Very practical. Everybody I think will love this because at one time or another we have
0:55.2	disobedient children don't we sometimes. I think everybody does. And while every parent just wants
1:01.1	someone to tell them what to do, they're like give me an equation for parenting. My kids are doing
1:06.3	x, y and z. The reality is is that it's not all about their behavior. Is it? No, it's really about
1:13.5	the heart. If you focus on behavior, you're not focused on the root cause. So it's like pulling
1:18.2	weeds. If you just tear the top of the weeds and you leave the root, then the weeds just grow back.
1:23.4	But if you tend to the real issue, the root of the problem, the heart, now you're getting somewhere.
1:29.5	That's right. So today's podcast topic is called heart change, not behavior modification.
1:36.7	I think that this is one that all parents, regardless of age of their kids, is going to need to
1:40.4	remember over and over and over again. So we could probably put this podcast on repeat. I know
1:45.0	this is something that I've preached to myself over the years. I still need to hear it. I do too.
1:50.8	I mean, every day, I'll do it wrong. I will, you know, let things get to me when they shouldn't
1:58.0	because I'm the parent. I'm the leader in the situation. So I shouldn't let things get to me,
2:02.2	but they do sometimes. And then I don't look at the situation, the conflict situation with kids
	...

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