Health, Wealth & A Paladium Ping-Pang!

The Commercial Break

Bryan Green

Comedy, Improv

4.5 • 758 Ratings

🗓️ 21 May 2025

⏱️ 65 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

EP #751: Bryan and Krissy review the proliferation of Alien Light Ladies (and guys) across the socials. It seems every other reel is talking in tongues and selling a course on aligning your inner star child! In this wide-ranging, off-the-rails episode of The Commercial Break, Bryan and Krissy start with preschool graduations and end up in the intergalactic rabbit hole of light language influencers. Buckle up. More About EP751: Bryan opens with a hilariously detailed recap of attending a preschool “graduation” where kids practiced their choreography for months… only to immediately collapse, cry, strip, or play dead the moment they hit the stage. Krissy and Bryan swap stories about the madness of modern school ceremonies, audience weirdos, and what happens when parents start crisscross-applesaucing in a sweaty multipurpose room. But halfway through, the episode swerves hard into the stratosphere—literally. Bryan introduces a new obsession: a subculture of TikTok and Instagram influencers claiming to speak alien light languages. These spiritual content creators, often scantily clad and surrounded by rose petals, offer $10,000 courses to “activate your Palladian power” and speak in made-up cosmic tongues. Bryan and Krissy watch and roast a collection of these videos in real time, trying to decode phrases like “divine abundance,” “sacred soul blueprint,” and “cosmic wealth activation”—and trying even harder not to cry from laughing. TCB Clips: R.I.P. "Norm"!! Watch EP #751 on YouTube! Text us or leave us a voicemail: +1 (212) 433-3TCB FOLLOW US: Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@thecommercialbreak⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Youtube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠youtube.com/thecommercialbreak⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@tcbpodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.tcbpodcast.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ CREDITS: Hosts: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Bryan Green⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ &⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Krissy Hoadley⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Executive Producer: Bryan Green Producer: Astrid B. Green Voice Over: Rachel McGrath TCBits / TCBits Music: Written, Voiced and Produced by Bryan Green To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	Making your way in the world today takes everything you've got.
0:10.0	Hey, Mr. Peterson, what's the story?
0:12.0	Boy meets beer, boy drinks beer.
0:15.0	Boy gets another beer.
0:17.0	Would you like to get away?
0:20.0	Starr! How are you name, Mr. Peterson?
0:22.6	Never been better, Woody.
0:24.6	Just once I'd like to be better.
0:26.6	I got good news, everybody.
0:30.6	I'm no longer looking for a job.
0:33.6	Now begging for one.
0:35.6	Hey! Everybody begging for one. Hey! Hey!
0:38.3	Everybody?
0:39.3	No!
0:40.3	How you're doing?
0:41.3	What do you know?
0:43.3	Not enough.
0:44.3	Have no, everybody.
0:47.3	Oh, good morning,
0:49.3	Hey, what's happening, Norm?
0:51.3	That's a doggy, dog world, Sammy, and I'm wearing milkbone underwear.
1:06.6	On this episode of the commercial break.
	...

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