Healing Yourself While Raising Your Kids: Breaking Cycles Without Perfection | Eli Harwood (Bonus Episode)
Minimalist Moms Podcast | Purposeful Life & Parenting Tips
Diane Boden
4.7 • 1K Ratings
🗓️ 26 May 2026
⏱️ 40 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
What if the goal of parenting isn’t perfection - but repair?
In this episode, I’m joined by Eli Harwood, therapist, mother of three, and author of How to Heal Your So Your Kids Don’t Have To: An Encyclopedia for Ditching Your Emotional Baggage. Together, we explore the messy but meaningful work of breaking cycles, building secure attachment, and learning how to parent with greater emotional awareness.
Eli shares why attachment is far more flexible than many parents realize and how repair — not getting everything right the first time — is often what builds the deepest trust and connection. We also discuss practical ways to navigate anger, defensiveness, control habits, jealousy, blame, and body image struggles, while examining the deeper emotional needs often underneath these reactions.
This conversation is a compassionate reminder that intentional parenting isn’t about becoming flawless. It’s about learning to stay present, take accountability, and create relationships rooted in empathy, responsiveness, and repair.
Links Discussed in This Episode |
- Checkout the podcast storefront for recommendations from Diane.
- Subscribe to the Minimalist Moms Youtube Channel
- Connect with Eli:
- Website
- Podcast: How To Deal
- Book: How to Deal with Your ____ So Your Kids Don't Have to: An Encyclopedia for Ditching Your Emotional Baggage
About Eli |
Eli Harwood is a licensed therapist, creator of Attachment Nerd, and author of the books "Securely Attached", "Raising Securely Attached Kids," and “How to Deal with Your (__) So Your Kids Don’t Have to”. She has over 19 years of clinical experience, over 1.5 million followers across her social media platforms, and is on a mission to make the world a more secure place one attachment relationship at a time. Eli has three children, one husband, two cats, a gaggle of chickens, and an extraordinary number of high maintenance plants!
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Transcript
Click on a timestamp to play from that location
| 0:00.0 | For those of you that are new around here, I release bonus episodes that serve a niche part of my audience. |
| 0:04.8 | So if this content is something that doesn't fit what you're looking for, check out the other |
| 0:08.5 | episodes that drop this week or join me back here next week for episodes that you don't want to miss. |
| 0:13.9 | I think it's really important that we really separate apologizing and asking for forgiveness from |
| 0:19.6 | actual repair. Because I think as a culture, sometimes we think, okay, if I say I'm sorry, then you should forgive me. |
| 0:25.9 | Or if I have come back around and acknowledged that I did something wrong, then that's the end of the repair. |
| 0:32.3 | But real repair is about being able to sense that someone else actually cares about the impact that they |
| 0:39.9 | made on you and can hear it without crumbling or getting defensive. |
| 0:45.6 | So one of my favorite tips for myself is when I am very aware that I've been too harsh, |
| 0:52.2 | I've been distracted, like I misunderstood one of my kids. Before I |
| 0:56.3 | try to repair with them, I forgive myself. Which sounds a little backwards because you're like, |
| 1:01.4 | well, what if they don't want to forgive you? You're going to forgive yourself first? Yeah. |
| 1:05.0 | But that really helps me come to them in a way that is more available to what they need instead of what I need. So if I don't |
| 1:12.1 | forgive myself first, then I'm looking for forgiveness often instead of having the capacity |
| 1:18.1 | to create repair. This is Diane Bowden and you're listening to the minimalist moms podcast. |
| 1:23.4 | What if the goal of parenting isn't perfection but repair? In today's episode, I'm joined by Eli Harwood, therapist, mother of three, and author of |
| 1:32.6 | How to Deal with Your Beep so your kids don't have to, an encyclopedia for ditching |
| 1:37.1 | your emotional baggage. |
| 1:38.6 | Together we explore the messy but meaningful work of breaking cycles, building secure |
| 1:43.0 | attachment, and learning how to parent |
| 1:44.6 | with greater emotional awareness. Eli shares why attachment is far more flexible than many |
| 1:49.8 | parents realize and how repair is often what builds the deepest trust and connection. |
... |
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