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The Refined Collective Podcast

He Said/She Said: Sex/Life with Manwell Reyes

The Refined Collective Podcast

Kat Harris

Honesty, Religion & Spirituality, Love, Leaders, Life, Businessowners, Authenticity, Courage, Society & Culture, Christianity

4.81.2K Ratings

🗓️ 22 September 2021

⏱️ 61 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Thank you Newsstand Studio at 1 Rockefeller Plaza for providing a place for me to record this episode for y’all! No more Brooklyn closet recording!!!

I am doing a 3-part podcast series with Manwell Reyes called He Said/She Said where we dive into some deep topics and approach them from our different perspectives. Last week we spoke about double standards (you can listen to that here). This week, we’re talking about the Netflix show Sex/Life, tackling questions like can you have it all? And does size matter? Warning: There will be spoilers ahead and of course discussions that you may want to save for when you have headphones available to you.

Let’s Talk About Sex (Drive)

  • The woman in the show says everything in her life is 85% perfect and the 15% that’s missing is the exciting sex life she had in a previous relationship when she was younger and living in NYC. She is now married to a man she loves and has beautiful children, but she keeps thinking about that 15%.

  • “You give up a lot on the way to success.” - Manwell Reyes
  • “Responsibility is the number one killer of libido.” - Kat Harris

  • We’re constantly taught that men are always thinking about sex, but in reality everybody has a different sex drive.
  • Manwell opens up about his own experience with dropping testosterone and sex drive.

We talk about: Does Size Matter + Can You Have It All?

  • “I wonder if we’ve bought into this lie of wanting the 100% 100% of the time. I basically want a person who is the merging of 10 different people.” - Kat Harris

  • The standards we’ve set are too high for any one person to meet.

  • “You’re not 100% of everything they want.” - Manwell Reyes

  • We talk about the idea of having multiple partners.

  • “To this day, even though we overdo it with the romanticism, it all comes down to a contract of ‘What am I willing to be okay with because we both know we’re imperfect people. Is what you bring to the table worth it for me to give up on the things I want or say that I want?’” - Manwell Reyes

Resources


We invest large amounts of money into our careers. But with things like love, we think “It’ll happen when it happens,” and with things like kids, we think “I’ll think about that down the road.” What if we were just as intentional about our reproductive health as we are our careers? Modern Fertility is an easy way to test your fertility with an at-home test at a fraction of the cost. Go to ModernFertility.com/refined for $20 off your fertility test.

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Welcome to the Refine Collective Podcast. I'm your host, Cat Harris.

0:12.0

This podcast is designed to hold space for honest conversations. From purity culture to faith,

0:19.6

sexuality, relationships, identity, culture, deconstruction, and more. My hope is to look

0:27.6

out in the face, be curious, seek God, and ask meaningful questions to address any elephant

0:34.3

in the room with openness, nuance, and grace. I won't pretend to be an expert and definitely

0:41.6

don't have all the answers. And though it may feel easier and more comfortable to exist

0:46.1

in the black and white, I invite you to discover God with me in the gray and unexpected spaces.

0:53.7

So whoever you are, whatever you do or don't believe, you are welcome here and have a seat

0:59.0

at this table. Make sure you're subscribed to the Refine Collective Podcast on iTunes,

1:05.6

so each week when a new episode drops, it'll download straight to those devices. And while

1:11.4

you're at it, if you feel so inclined, leave us a five star rating and written review.

1:16.2

It would be so helpful to get our message out there.

1:19.8

All right, let's go ahead and get to it.

1:27.0

Welcome to the Refine Collective Podcast. I am your host, Kat Harris, and a special shout out

1:32.2

and thank you to Newstand Studio here at Rockefeller Center. Thank you for hosting and producing my

1:38.5

podcast. Y'all are freaking awesome. You can follow along at Rockefeller Center on Instagram

1:45.0

and rock center NYC on Twitter for you Twitter folks. And now into today's episode. All right,

1:52.3

last week we had Manuel Reyes on from the Knights at the Roundtable Podcast. If you didn't listen,

1:58.6

we do a fun episode on double standards. So go check that out. He's back again. We're doing a

2:03.8

three-part series called, he said, she said. And today, I don't know what's about to happen,

2:10.6

but I feel really good about it and I have stress balls in both of my hands. Not because I'm stressed

2:18.3

out about this conversation, mainly because I'm so freaking fidgety. I don't know how to sit still,

...

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