He Ghosted. I'm Grateful.

Modern Love

The New York Times

Society & Culture, Nyt, Nytimes, Loss, Redemption, Storytelling, New York Times, Love, Essay

4.3 • 9K Ratings

🗓️ 12 April 2023

⏱️ 21 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Denny Agassi moved to New York City with a mission: She was looking to have great sex. Her first summer in the city, Denny downloaded the dating app Grindr. She filtered for trans friendly men looking for sex or short flings — and it worked. Then, one day, she got a message from a man named Jack. He was poised, curious and caring. What she thought could only be something casual — a Grindr relationship — turned into something serious and meaningful. Denny’s guard began to fall. But, just as she began to let Jack in, he was gone. This is the final episode of our season! We’ll be back with new episodes in late May. Plus, a call out to listeners: When did you realize your parents were really divorced? Tell us your story here: nytimes.com/divorcedparents.

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hey modern love listeners, we're looking for stories from people with divorced parents.
0:06.1	And we've got a question, what's the moment when your parents divorce really sunk in?
0:12.2	Not necessarily when they told you they were separating, but the moment where it really
0:15.6	hit you, and you realized, my life is different, and it's always going to be different.
0:21.4	Tell us about your moment of realization and find all the submission details by visiting
0:26.2	ny times dot com slash divorced parents.
0:30.6	That link is also in our show notes.
0:32.8	We can't wait to hear from you.
0:50.0	From the New York Times, I'm Anna Martin.
0:52.6	This is Modern Love.
0:55.8	When I was dating, I felt like people were always telling me to have fun.
1:00.1	And frankly, that ticked me off.
1:03.0	Because I was like, this is not fun at all.
1:06.1	I'm constantly confused, wondering if the person likes me, not sure if we want the same
1:11.2	thing, terrified they're ghosting me, like, what is fun about that?
1:17.2	Today's essay is by Denny Agassi.
1:19.8	Denny managed to do what I never could.
1:22.4	She was actually having fun dating.
1:24.9	She was on the apps, hooking up with guys, and genuinely having a good time.
1:30.0	Until she met this one guy who made her want more.
1:41.7	Denny welcome to Modern Love.
1:43.3	Hello, hello.
	...

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