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Here Be Monsters

HBM052: Call 601-2-SATAN-2

Here Be Monsters

Here Be Monsters Podcast

Social Sciences, Science, Documentary, Society & Culture, Personal Journals

4.61.3K Ratings

🗓️ 9 December 2015

⏱️ 18 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Christian prayer hotlines are common in the United States. Less common are prayer hotlines for the other guy.  Since 2012, the Satanic Missionary Society in Olympia, Washington has managed a Satanic prayer line on their blog and receive prayer requests from people all over the country.  They ask for help with things like miscarriage, a romantic affair with a mother-in-law, a successful rap career, and more.

Content Note: Explicit Content.

Among those callers is Tyler Higgins, a young man from New England asking for Satanic prayers to get into The American Musical and Dramatic Academy (aka. AMDA), his dream acting school. But Tyler was raised a Seventh Day Adventist.  And his whole life, his pastors and parents told him that all popular actors sold their souls to Satan in exchange for fame and success. With that in mind, Tyler researches Satanism online and found the Satanic Missionary Society and their prayer line. Desperate to follow his dream of acting, Tyler calls and asks for Satan's help to get into AMDA. A few weeks later, his devout Christian parents stumbled upon email exchanges between Tyler and the Satanic mission. They call the pastor over immediately to perform an exorcism.

The Satanic Prayer Hotline was started by a man who calls himself "The Anti-Chris" in Olympia, Washington. It is no longer active, but you can still hear the entire archive of prayer requests. And if you're feeling frisky, you can purchase a one-of-a-kind Faustian Bargain kit, including tools and instructions on how to sell your soul to the Prince of Darkness himself.

Below are varying depictions of hell and Satan.  Click images to enlarge and read about their origins.

Special thanks to The Anti-Chris, Ashlee the Blind Satanist and Lillith Starr for their help on this episode. 

This episode was produced by Bethany Denton with editing help from Jeff Emtman. Our editor at KCRW is Nick White.

Please review us on iTunes

Music by The Black Spot ||| Serocell ||| Swamp Dog

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

From the Independent Producer Project of KCRW, this is Here Be Monsters.

0:08.0

And just a word of warning before we start, this episode contains foul language and blasphemy.

0:13.2

Enjoy the show.

0:18.7

I'm Satan.

0:20.7

Prince of Darkness, my true loving God. I want you to know that I have broken all my

0:26.7

past allegiance and ties with the God of three heads. I purposely, with much nod, malice, my own free will, blasphemy, mock, curse and deny to Halajaliy Yawlay ish is wrong, filthy son, Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit.

0:48.0

I ask for nothing in return for I'm honored that you called upon me and are giving me my chance to further

0:55.3

prove my dedication and unconditional love for you.

0:59.8

Let me be blessed with damnation.

1:02.0

I am truly anti-God and I have taken remark Satan 666 and

1:07.0

it's burned on my internal soul. I understand that this body contract can never be broken and under any condition.

1:17.0

So in front of you, oh Master Satan, in front of Yaway, it's for

1:23.5

to be son Jesus.

1:25.1

And the Holy Spirit, I now give to you forever.

1:29.4

My body, my mind, and my soul.

1:34.0

Thank you, Satan.

1:36.0

Amen.

1:38.0

Here be monsters, the podcast about.

1:48.0

Did you sell your soul to Satan?

1:50.3

The podcast about the unknown. Okay, how's it going?

2:05.0

How's it going?

2:07.0

Basically, a couple, about a month or two ago, my apartment got robbed.

...

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