Well, have we forgiven someone if the wrong they committed against us keeps replaying in

our minds?

It's a question from a listener named Emily.

It's a very good question.

But before we get to that question, today is the final day of T4G in Louisville and we're

talking today over the telephone, not over the studio line.

And so here's that email from Emily.

Dear Pastor John, thank you for your years of faithful ministry online.

My question is in regards to forgiveness, the other day my husband made a hurtful comment

about my appearance and with the help of wise counsel and older woman in the faith walked

me through expressing my hurt to my husband about it.

Of course he asked for my forgiveness right away.

But the lingering question I have is this, how do I know if I've truly forgiven him, it's

still hurts when I think about it, and I do think about the event.

I'm seeking by God's help to serve and love him despite what I feel, but is lingering

pain from the offense, a sign that I have not really forgiven my husband.

Let me start broad in a way that I think will be more generally helpful to all of us who

are married and even, even others in similar kinds of relationships, perhaps, and then get

more specific for Emily's issue of whether she has really forgiven her husband.

What I have found in our marriage, which I did not expect, and which I think is true

more generally in marriage, is that for Christians, that is, for me, who want to bring their

lives into complete conformity to the teaching of Scripture, the great battle for holiness

...