The Army's SkyNet Fiosatellites can establish comms lines anywhere,

but only a soldier can adapt their voice to the situation on the ground.

Giving orders and taking control.

We are showing local civilians.

Staying calm in a medical emergency.

Or knowing when it's best, just to listen.

Nothing can do what a soldier can do.

Army recruiting now, search, Army jobs.

Hey there guys and ghouls, I have a good deal for you.

I know it's nearly Halloween and everyone's looking to get spookified.

So I figured it would be a perfect time to offer some bargain tours of my very own bona fide authentic haunted house.

You heard that right folks?

While most places claimed offer spirits and ghouls, I've got the goods to put them all to shame.

Not only is my haunted house built on some cursed reservation land,

I've gone through the extra effort of making a deal with the devil himself

to throw in a few demons to boot.

And seriously, I'm in some deep shit and I think my life is on the line.

Now this sound too good to be true, right?

Let me tell you, when I first bought the place, I didn't believe it either.

And truth be told, I thought the realtor was making the whole, this place makes amity look like paradise thing up when we spoke.

I mean, we all know that shit is fictional, right?

Sure, I'm a godfaring good old boy, but I'm not gonna mess around with real demons.

...