Hatchet (2006) Review

Horror Movie Talk

Horror Movie Talk: Horror Movie Review

Tv & Film, After Shows, Film Reviews

4.4 • 640 Ratings

🗓️ 21 December 2022

⏱️ 82 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

The comedy is without feeling. The violence is without warrant. The concept is as old as film. Monster bad - but monster also tragic - but get out of my swamp.

Transcript

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0:00.0	The following is a public service announcement. If you are part of a large group of friends
0:06.8	partying, you might be in a slasher movie. If you find yourself making quips that on paper
0:12.3	should be funny, but when delivered end up falling flat, you might be in a slasher movie.
0:17.6	If you've seen exactly seven boobs today, you might be in a slasher movie. If you are in
0:24.5	your late teens to early 20s, you should know that slashes can strike at any time. Large,
0:30.2	hate-filled serial killers are out there roaming the plains, cities, and swamps of America,
0:35.6	just looking for a new party to crash.
0:38.1	If you or someone you love believe yourself to be caught in the midst of a slasher movie,
0:43.3	make peace with your God because there is no escape.
0:46.4	If you aren't killed this time, you will be in one of the next four movies.
1:08.5	Is this a metal thing? Yes.
1:09.9	A little taste. David. David. David, what is this? Pretty Yes. A little taste.
1:11.5	David.
1:12.0	David, what is this?
1:13.4	Pretty big.
1:15.0	I have to kill a lot of people.
1:17.7	Just tell me what you want me to fuck.
1:19.3	I have big tips and a tiny vagina.
1:22.0	Oil me up, daddy.
1:23.4	I can't believe the price prefers big tits.
1:26.5	Missletoe alert.
1:27.5	This is back country. This guy was a real jerk. How long can Hugo being prognat? I can't believe that the blinds first big tits. Missletoe alert.
	...

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