What if the reason so many people feel unhappy today is because they're trying too hard to be happy.

In a culture obsessed with optimization, personal growth, and constant positivity,

millions of people are doing everything they've been told that should work.

They're reading the books, following the routines, and tracking their progress,

trying to stay grateful and optimistic, all of that.

And yet, anxiety, burnout, loneliness continue to rise.

My guest today believes that the problem may actually be the direct pursuit for happiness itself.

Tal Ben Shahar is one of the world's leading voices in positive psychology and the author

of Happier No Matter What. His course on happiness at Harvard became one of the most popular classes,

and I think he was known as one of the most popular teachers in the university's whole history,

and his work has helped millions of people rethink what it really means

to flourish and be happy. One of the most fascinating ideas in his book is what he calls the

paradox of happiness. And what it says is the more directly we choose happiness and chase happiness,

the more elusive it tends to become. Tao compares it to staring at the sun.

If you look directly at the sun, it blinds you.

But when the sunlight meets the rain at the right angle,

something beautiful appears.

A rainbow.

You don't chase the rainbow.

You create the conditions for the rainbow.

So today, we're going to explore what those conditions are. We'll talk about

psychological flexibility, toxic positivity, and anti-fragility, and why the ability to grow stronger

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