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The Iced Coffee Hour

Harvard Psychiatrist: The #1 Shortcut To Getting Rich, Winning At Life, & Finding Your Soulmate

The Iced Coffee Hour

Graham Stephan/Jack Selby

Entrepreneurship, Business

4.6679 Ratings

🗓️ 21 April 2025

⏱️ 164 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Bizee: Start your business with confidence at https://Bizee.com/ich NetSuite: Take advantage of NetSuite’s Flexible Financing Program: https://www.netsuite.com/ICED Trade Coffee: Get a free cold brew maker with your Trade cold brew subscription, at https://drinktrade.com/ich Upway: $150 off any purchase over $1,500 with code ICEDCOFFEE through the end of May at https://upway.co ZocDoc: Go to https://www.zocdoc.com/ICED and download the Zocdoc App for FREE Follow Dr. K : Website - https://healthygamer.gg/ On Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/@UClHVl2N3jPEbkNJVx-ItQIQ On Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/healthygamer_gg/?hl=en On X - https://x.com/HealthyGamerGG NEW: Apply for Graham’s networking community: https://www.entertheindex.com/ Add us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jlsselby https://www.instagram.com/gpstephan Official Clips Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCeBQ24VfikOriqSdKtomh0w For sponsorships or business inquiries reach out to: [email protected] For Podcast Inquiries, please DM @icedcoffeehour on Instagram! Timestamps: 00:00:00 - Introduction 00:01:22 - Who is Dr. K? 00:01:57 - Are we in a mental health crisis? 00:03:34 - % of people with mental disorders 00:07:52 - How to know if you have a disorder 00:10:04 - Is your happiness real? 00:14:27 - Mental illness as an excuse 00:14:34 - Sponsor - Bizee 00:19:06 - How to spot a narcissist 00:23:49 - Are billionaires narcissists? 00:28:39 - Disorders to avoid in relationships 00:31:39 - Can you self-diagnose psychopathy? 00:32:04 - Sponsor - NetSuite 00:34:33 - Why meds are the default treatment 00:38:10 - What would you change in healthcare? 00:40:58 - Why people hate the healthcare system 00:44:31 - Why is healthcare tied to employment? 00:52:17 - How people self-sabotage 00:54:20 - Can personality change? 00:59:10 - Can you remove negative emotion? 01:02:56 - Sponsor - Trade Coffee 01:04:10 - Sponsor - Upway 01:05:10 - When are emotions helpful? 01:11:07 - Is Myers-Briggs accurate? 01:13:26 - Can AI diagnose disorders? 01:16:29 - Most destructive habit we ignore 01:18:42 - Long-term mental health damage 01:20:34 - Fast ways to find peace 01:24:16 - Why some people have more willpower 01:28:43 - How to grow happiness 01:30:15 - Long-term goals vs. instant joy 01:34:40 - Sponsor - ZocDoc 01:35:46 - Is anyone destined to be single? 01:37:14 - Signs of a toxic relationship 01:40:24 - Why women like “bad boys” 01:44:56 - Questions couples don’t ask 01:46:19 - Will the relationship last? 01:52:52 - Hurdles to finding a soulmate 01:54:22 - Soulmates vs relationships 01:58:51 - Designing the perfect first date 02:01:12 - How long to fall in love? 02:06:47 - Why entrepreneurs hire him 02:10:21 - Are successful people spiritually stuck? 02:12:09 - Common problems among the wealthy 02:14:21 - Can life be gamified? 02:17:21 - Hardest problems for successful people 02:19:40 - Surprising part of being a business owner 02:22:53 - Signs of a midlife crisis 02:27:02 - His biggest current problem 02:29:44 - What he’s changed his mind about 02:32:44 - Book recs for personal growth 02:37:15 - How big is his team? 02:38:27 - How he tracks financial goals *Some of the links and other products that appear on this video are from companies which Graham Stephan will earn an affiliate commission or referral bonus. Graham Stephan is part of an affiliate network and receives compensation for sending traffic to partner sites. The content in this video is accurate as of the posting date. Some of the offers mentioned may no longer be available. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0

Are you depressed because your brain is messed up and you have a cognitive bias and you're not looking at the world in the right way?

0:05.6

Or are you depressed because your life genuinely sucks?

0:09.2

Growing number of Americans say they suffer with depression.

0:12.4

What's been the most surprising thing for you in terms of problems that you see for successful people or people that make a lot of money?

0:19.0

So what happens with a lot of entrepreneurs is that they assume that happiness is coming

0:22.9

later and then it doesn't.

0:25.0

It's lonely at the top.

0:26.7

Then they seek me out because I can help them with that.

0:29.5

A lot of people wonder whether money buys happiness.

0:33.6

Spirituality starts with satisfying everything else.

0:41.0

I'm a huge fan of becoming materially successful as the first stepping stone to becoming spiritually successful. What do you think we're going to look

0:45.7

back at today as being really destructive? What is society trying to do? They're trying to evoke

0:52.2

unhappiness. And if they evoke unhappiness, what can they do?

0:55.6

Control you. How? By telling you what will make you happy. There we go.

1:03.3

Dr. Kay, thank you so much for coming on the iced coffee hour. Thank you for having me. I love talking to you guys.

1:08.8

Absolutely. Yeah, you're someone we could talk to, no joke for like five hours nonstop. And just, it keeps me. I love talking to you guys. Absolutely. Yeah, you're someone we could talk to, no joke for like five hours nonstop and just, it keeps me so focused on the conversation,

1:17.0

unlike anything else we've done. That is my experience, too, that we can talk for long stretches.

1:22.1

If you were to explain yourself in one minute, how would you do it? I'm someone who spent seven

1:26.9

years studying to become a monk

1:28.2

and then became a psychiatrist instead. And now I take those two bits of training and try to

1:33.6

help other humans with it because most humans don't know how they work. And if you teach a human how

1:38.7

it works, it turns out that life becomes easier and you become better at it. So how many humans are you helping learn?

...

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