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Who would win the Tri-Wizard Tournament if Harry wasn't in it? Hey, brother! You know the real tragedy of the Tri-Wizard tournament?

No, the tragedy is that we don't get to see a real competition.

Hagrid tells us right away, before we've even made it to the school, the following information.

Ring gods, no place safer, set perhaps Hogwarts.

And yet, Harry's first year back, the Dark Lord reappears, lives on the back of his defense against the dark arts teacher's head, tries to kill him via broomstick, vert of the entire school. What's going on with Harry's broomstick? Then, you know, three-headed dog, demon plant, demon keys, demon chess, puzzle, Dark Lord, mirror. Oh, us. Airwax. Then we get to year two, Slytheran's Air, unleashes a thousand-year-old monster snake that wreaks havoc on the school, mass instability, Jeannie almost dies, Harry gets stabbed by a deadly basilisk fang, but lives. Then his godfather escapes from prison, he's believed to be hunting Harry, he breaks into his dorm room, Ron's pet rat, turns into a jerk face, and his teacher's a werewolf Good times. So let's just say for funzies that year four is just year four. Like I don't know, maybe worm pail like trips and falls during his escape and the wamping willow blasts him in next week and Baltimore isn't yet discovered something. We can all look at that'd be great, right? Or maybe he just like runs into a mousetrap, you know? Not as the rat or anything, just still in human form. Because like, I don't know if you've ever been snapped by one of those things, but who sucks to suck, Peter. Do you think if he saw the muggle board game mousetrap that he would have like a traumatic response? We're going in for the big cheese, so don't get caught. Mouthrape. It's a zany action, a crazy contraption. The fun is catching its mousetrap. I've never met a single person who's actually played Mousetrap. They just got the board out and then assembled the thing and then made the chain reaction happen. That's what you do with it, right?

Anyway, what this really means is that when Matt I. Moody shows up to Hogwarts, it's the real

Matt Eye Moody.

And the Tri-Wizard tournament goes off without a hitch.

So amongst our candidates, who I would believe to be exactly the same, because

there's no reason for that to change, we have to decide who would have won, Victor Crum,

Florida LeCore or Cedric Maboy, niggery. Leave your guesses in the comments now because today

we find out.

Hey, brother! Y'all, we need a pause right there to give a huge thank you to today's sponsor, Shopify.

You know, I think the term entrepreneur gets thrown around a lot for what might actually just be a regular person with a nearly concerning amount of optimism.

Like, on the one hand, I've got stability, but on the other, I could talk to camera with my brother every weekday for an entire year.

Who's in?

Ben, I know you're in. Right? Right?

Hopefully. And fully was hoped.

The thing is though, it worked, and the reality is that even really good ideas can seem

ludicrous up until the moment they've been proven.

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