Think of how much energy it takes and all the different components of your psychological awareness.

You have to notice that you're having these feelings. You have to notice that you're withdrawing.

You have to notice that you have a desire for this relationship.

So there's a lot of pieces that have to really be on board.

And then you have to be able to tell yourself, at least a lot of my clients,

and historically, I have found myself in this position where I've been like,

okay, it is worth it to me to risk this even if it means losing the relationship

because this isn't good for anybody and to step forward.

So think of how many different moving pieces there are.

There's all the different pieces of self-awareness, all the different pieces of actual relationship issues,

and then choosing not to manage the other person.

Welcome to Therapist Uncensored. Building on decades of professional experience

this podcast tackles neurobiology, modern attachment, and more,

in an honest way that's helpful in healing humans.

Your session begins now with Dr. Anne Kelly and Sue Marriott.

Hey everyone, so this is the fourth in our series on disarming human defenses.

And this one's pack full of insights, I promise.

If you haven't been listening to the others in the series, no worry, it's a standalone.

But today, my co-host, Sue Marriott, is talking with this really wonderful colleague of ours

and friend, Jeannie Bunker, about aggression, both the destructive ways we use it as a defense,

as well as ways we can really harness our healthy, aggressive energy towards

powerfully constructive ways to make changes in ourselves,

...