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Garrison Keillor's Podcast

Hard-earned wisdom passed on at no charge

Garrison Keillor's Podcast

Prairie Home Productions

Society & Culture, Fiction, Comedy Fiction, Improv, Comedy

4.81.1K Ratings

🗓️ 10 August 2024

⏱️ 9 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Mostly I live in a comfortable bubble, enjoying my morning coffee, avoiding bad news that’s beyond my power to affect, bloody wars raging in Ukraine and Gaza, brutal civil wars in Myanmar and Africa, waves of migrants trying to escape violence and poverty — I am mostly oblivious. The Christian missionaries who set out to save souls in Africa and South America saw the world much more clearly than I do. The Ecuadorean moms selling candy bars in subway stations know more about real life than I do. A person could walk along the little shops in low-rent neighborhoods and talk to immigrant entrepreneurs and learn more about the world than if you went to grad school for a Ph.D., but nobody I know does.I ignore my relatives who are loyal to Mr. Presidefendant who is as removed from reality as I am. I went to high school with a Jim Jordan, a Matt Gaetz, a Mike Johnson, but my classmates don’t hold public office, they just hold a mug of beer in the corner saloon while they grouse about the unfairness of life. A nap would do them good.

This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit garrisonkeillor.substack.com/subscribe

Transcript

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0:00.0

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0:43.1

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0:48.4

That's Vanta.com slash G.O for $1,000 off. There never was a bad nap. I passed this wisdom on to you as an old man who has experienced more

1:19.8

disappointment than you will ever know.

1:23.7

And it took me 75 years to learn how to deal with it.

1:30.0

You lie down, close your eyes, and you wake up feeling better.

1:37.0

I used to eat Wheaties because they sponsored Jack Armstrong, the All-American Boy on the radio back before the rest of you were born,

1:47.0

and a men's quartet sang, Have you tried, Wheaties, their whole wheat with all of the bran, won't you try wheaties, for wheat is the best

1:58.8

food of man. Jack Armstrong traveled the world, foiling the evil plans of villains, and

2:07.5

Wheaties were made by General Mills, based in Minneapolis, and Jack was based on a student at the University of Minnesota,

2:18.0

which I intended to attend, and I did and graduated with a BA, and I was loyal to Wheaties for years.

2:28.5

But last year, the most profitable in General Mills's history, they jacked up the price of

2:37.0

Wheaties to eight to nine and ten dollars a box while reducing the food content and I felt betrayed and I have not put a

2:49.4

spoonful of the

2:55.0

box of champions to my lips ever since. The cereal in the box is worth about 10 cents,

2:59.0

the box itself about a quarter,

...

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