Handprints and baby loss with Michelle Tolfrey
Birth Stories with Clemmie Hooper
Off Script
4.8 • 1.9K Ratings
🗓️ 3 September 2019
⏱️ 43 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
CW: This episode features discussion of baby loss.
Michelle was told at 37 weeks pregnant that, devastatingly, her baby no longer had a heartbeat. She talks Clemmie through how, with the help of her midwife, she was able to birth her baby vaginally and spend time with her before she and her husband left the hospital. Clemmie and Michelle discuss how she felt when the unthinkable happened, how they managed to find moments of light and hope alongside their grief, and how Michelle and her husband keep Orla’s memory alive. They also take a question about how to approach giving birth again after a traumatic birth.
For information and help on the subject of baby loss, visit:
sands.org.uk
tommys.org/baby-loss-information-and-support
If you have any concerns about your baby’s movements at any stage in your pregnancy always call your hospital and speak to a midwife. For more information please visit: kickscount.org.uk
Michelle's blog From The Other Chair explores baby loss, pregnancy and parenting after loss as well as mental health: fromtheotherchair.co.uk
Michelle is a Clinical Psychologist and her professional website has lots of information about mental health and wellbeing and the evidence based therapies that can help: talkingheads.org.uk
Follow Clemmie's Mother of Daughters account: instagram.com/mother_of_daughters/
Follow Clemmie's Gas and Air account: instagram.com/gasandair/
Clemmie's book How to grow a baby and push it out is available now: amazon.co.uk/How-Grow-Baby-Push-Out/dp/1785040383
Birth Stories is produced by Hannah Varrall and created by Off Script
*This podcast is not to replace medical advice. Always speak to your midwife or doctor if you have any concerns.*
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Welcome to birth stories with me Klemi Hooper, created by Offscript. |
| 0:04.7 | Just to warn you, this episode contains discussions about stillbirth. We've been talking about it for a while, even probably before we got married, but it was a year after we got married. |
| 0:25.6 | We thought, okay, let's give it a go, let's see how we get on. |
| 0:29.1 | Started trying, I guess, the beginning of that year and we fell pregnant actually about four |
| 0:36.6 | months later I actually had an ectopic pregnancy rush into hospital and |
| 0:41.4 | had emergency surgery and lost one of my fallopian tubes. |
| 0:46.4 | And then we conceived again, I think it was about another four months later. |
| 0:51.8 | I had a bit of morning sickness, I really didn't struggle that much. I look back and I have mixed feelings I guess I'm really |
| 0:59.4 | I have happy memories of that time and then you know maybe if I'm having a bad day I want to go back and punch that person in the face and just say you have no idea, you have no idea what's around the corner. |
| 1:19.0 | I'm Klemi Hooper and welcome to birth stories, a podcast where I talked to amazing women |
| 1:21.0 | about the fascinating and unique ways they had their babies. |
| 1:25.1 | I'm a midwife and a mother of four and I also run a blog called Gasinair where women share their stories |
| 1:30.2 | of childbirth. |
| 1:31.8 | Today's guest is clinical psychologist Michelle Tolfri, who |
| 1:35.1 | co-founded Psychology Practice Talking Heads, which offers a range of talking therapies |
| 1:39.6 | across London. Michelle, thank you so much for coming in today. |
| 1:43.2 | Thanks for having me. |
| 1:44.4 | We've actually met before. |
| 1:45.7 | We have. |
| 1:46.7 | I presented you with an award at the Tommy's Baby Charity. |
| 1:49.9 | Did, yeah, two years ago. |
| 1:51.5 | And I actually work at the hospital where you had Auler. |
... |
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