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Hello, my dears! Halloween is right around the corner.

Which reminds me, I need to get a costume.

Now, according to my local CVS, Halloween is a two month festival beginning September 1st,

which celebrates the worst candy of all time.

But actually, Halloween is an ancient holiday with a rich and spooky history.

And by spooky, I mean...interested.

Ha ha ha ha!

It all started in Ancient Ireland, where they celebrated the earliest version of Halloween,

the festival of Sawan.

That's right, the Irish gave us not one, but two holidays, where people get wasted

and have sex behind a Dunkin' Donuts.

Hey Ireland, thank you.

They believe that on the night of October 31st, the veil between the world and the afterlife was lifted,

and that spirits returned for one night, like a divorced dad on your birthday.

So to win favor with the spirits, they lit bonfires and offered gifts to them.

But most importantly, they disguise themselves in costumes so the dead wouldn't recognize them.

Because trust me, no one wants to get stuck in a conversation with the ghosts.

They're always like, avenge me, avenge me. It's like, okay weirdo, I just met you.

Costumes during Sawan consisted of animal heads and skins.

You. But in their defense, it was ancient times.

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