Before we even get started, I just want to complain about a little thing, which is,

I'm old school with my emojis.

I still don't even like emojis.

I prefer to use emoticons.

If I'm going to do a little smiley face, I want to craft it with my bare hands out of

colon's and parenthesis and brackets and semi-colons and dashes.

And what just happened in our pre-show setup that annoys me every time is when I go to

do a standard smiley face, you can never quite know on what machine or how it's going to

happen, but Apple decides for you, oh, we'll do the little picture.

You want it to send a regular smiley face, but we're going to send one of the picture

smiley faces instead.

So when I meant to send just regular colon space smile, Apple instead sent to you the

picture of the guy who's like way too smiley and also has embarrassed cheeks.

It just greatly annoys me.

That was not the emotional state I was trying to convey.

I don't even know why you'd go with a dial down, smiley face, what you were just basically

saying, call me.

This is also emoji infection.

I feel like you have to constantly fight against it.

If you talk to people who use smiley faces frequently, it spreads throughout the population,

I think that then the lack of smiley faces indicates, oh, this message was sent without

friendly intent.

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