Totally Football Show today.

Think Trump's thing looks scary.

Wait till you see our one-eyed monster, say Liverpool as Femino settles stormy affair at Anfield.

Elsewhere, there's everything from Ronaldo scratches to burn matches to Man City collapses and spurs undone at Sancero with the worst passing stats since the bow-rog with Gandalf.

All of that plus what awaits this weekend in the Premier League

with, amongst other things, West Ham hosting Chelsea.

It's The Totally Football Show.

Unbelievable, unbelievable this. All right, listener, thanks ever so much for joining us.

I promise it's going to be a bit special today.

First of all, because you've got some brilliant stories to discuss.

Secondly, because we've got some amazing people to do it.

Julian Laurent, parisomple.

Hello.

Hello to you, Jules.

We've got James Horncastle, your colleague on the excellent BT Goals show. Yes, indeed. Indeed. Good to have you with us, James. And Apakabar, oily sailor, as they say in Singapore, where you've just come back from Duncan Alexander. Hello. Yeah, I have. Brilliant. You were working there for Fox Sports Asia. I was, yep. Apa Caba to our listeners in Singapore. Did you meet many, totally, listeners? Yeah, yeah, there were quite a few people singing the show's praises. Really? Well, that's so very sweet of them. Here's Michael Barrett, who's a van. He says, please can you do a stat-free episode? They get in the way of the interesting stuff. Duncan,

that's not possible. I mean, I'll just go, right? I mean, they're the fabric of life. Yeah, absolutely. They're very building blocks of our football understanding. You've got a good Champions League stat, haven't you, Jules? Yeah, I mean, I forgot to mention it on the excellent gold show that you mentioned earlier about A.K. Athens.

Yes.

Who are the other? Champions League stat, haven't you, Jules? Yeah, I mean, I forgot to mention it on the excellent gold show that you mentioned earlier about A.K. Athens. We were the only team in Champions League history to have one year drawn all their games in the group stages. Like six games, six draws. I think it's pretty cool. It's pretty cool. It's super cool. It is good. I mean, they're lost against Ajax, so they're not going to do it again this year. And he was in 0203, I think, so a long time ago. But I should think he's super cool. I think it's super cool. I mean, they're lost against Ajax, so they're not going to do it again this year and it was in 2002 or three, I think, so a long time ago, but I actually think it's super cool. I'm not sure if you looked up the definition of super cool and diction would be AKF in 16s. I'm beaten in Champions. Six games, six draws. All right, then Duncan, give Jules a really super cool stat. Well, you might have seen this one on Opta Jopje,

but we had two English debutants for overseas teams in the Champions League this week.

Jaden Sancho and Reese Nelson, so that's 7 and 8,

and the previous six are quite an eclectic bunch,

heavily influenced by Graham Sunez's glorious reign at Benfica,

...