Hey, this is Alex.

If you're listening to this, then that means you're a paid member of the show.

So thank you so much.

You are the engine that drives the show and makes it possible.

So normally, you know, we use these premium feed weeks to share behind-the-scenes stuff, extended interviews, solicit the help of our audience and trying to solve problems that we haven't been able to solve ourselves.

But since we're getting ready to start a new year,

and since it is Christmas on the day of this release,

we wanted to use this occasion to try something a little different.

Because sometimes in the course of our non-hyper fixing lives,

we come across a story that we just want to share.

But for one reason or another, that story doesn't really have a proper place in the mandate of hyperfixed.

You know what I mean?

There are stories that are too short or too weird.

They don't have any greater point or insight into the human psyche

or the systems that govern our lives.

But nevertheless, they're like stories we like.

And today we are sharing the first of these stories

which we are calling grumpy Santa.

So in the mid-2000s,

Mike Federico found himself stuck in a cycle of weird jobs.

So my first, quote, real job was I was a telephone psychic for the Miss Cleo Psychic Network.

And my next job was selling stuffed animals door to door, which I was really bad at.

...