I start to feel anxious or getting followed by a guy like my mind is panicking.

I actually can't concentrate on driving because I know this person is just trying to follow us.

I strictly find this written a book, a West End, an internet sensation. A Yeah, it was so uncertain about where that was going to go.

The rise, but also the fall can happen so quick.

The imposter syndrome that already had got amplified,

anxiety, self-doubt, the whole thing just didn't feel real.

Diane, you met her on strictly.

First real proper girlfriend, yeah.

The further you go in that competition, the higher the pressure is and the stress get. We saw the best and the worst of each other. I always saw it would be a very private thing.

So actually end up being the complete opposite.

Hand on Hart, do you think if you had never started YouTube you'd be happier overall?

Good question.

So without further ado, I'm Stephen Bartlett, and this is the diary of a CEO.

I hope nobody's listening, but if you are, then please keep this to yourself. Joe.

No, no.

Tell me, what are the most important things that I need to know about you from your early years in order to understand you

In order to understand the man that you are today I was quite a loud child. I was a loud annoying child growing up When we look back through like family videos

it's it's quite embarrassing to watch particularly me because I I was the sort of boy that I'd be like mummy watch this watch

this like repeating myself over again and we're watching it back like oh shut up

like you were annoying child.

But then at some point, I flipped, and I don't know when that was,

but at some point I flipped and became a very,

...