Grey divorce

The Documentary Podcast

BBC

Society & Culture, Documentary, Personal Journals

4.3 • 2.6K Ratings

🗓️ 6 September 2025

⏱️ 23 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

There’s plenty of chat on social media about so-called ‘grey divorce’. But are older people around the world really splitting up in record numbers?

The truth is it’s hard to be sure, because reliable figures on global divorce rates don’t exist. Where research has been done - most notably in the US - there’s some evidence that rising numbers of people are deciding to go their separate ways later in life.

We hear from three Americans, including 65 year-old Laura in Virginia. Her immediate feelings post break up - after almost 30 years of marriage - included loneliness and personal reappraisal.

“It was also a complete loss of my sense of identity,” said Laura. “I had my ex husband’s last name longer than I had my own name. I was a mother and my divorce coincided with my kids launching. So it was, okay, who am I now?”

For 68-year-old Steven in North Carolina, who split from his husband eight years ago, new relationships also required adjustment.

“It has taken time to rebuild that kind of trust on the emotional level,” he said, “and then taking your clothes off at 60 is different to taking your clothes off at 45!”

Two women from Malaysia and South Africa also reveal what grey divorce is like from an adult child’s point of view.

Hosted by Rahul Tandon. Conversations by Luke Jones.

A Boffin Media production with producer Sue Nelson in partnership with the BBC OS team and producers Iqra Farooq and Laura Cress.

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hello, I'm Rahul Tandon. Welcome to the documentary from the BBC World Service.
0:05.2	In BBC OS Conversations, we bring people together from around the globe to share their experiences.
0:11.6	This time is the impact of late life separation.
0:26.3	Breaking up a long marriage when you're older, so-called grey divorce is life-changing,
0:32.0	as we'll hear from three people who've gone through it. Two women whose parents got divorced also tell us what it's like for adult children and we'll discuss the challenges of starting a new relationship
0:38.8	later in life. It has taken time to rebuild that kind of trust that's on the emotional level,
0:46.5	and then taking your clothes off at 60 is different than taking your clothes off at 45. I'm just going to say it. Amen, brother.
1:02.2	The evidence that older people around the world are getting divorced in greater numbers is largely
1:07.8	anecdotal. There's chat about it on social media, but no reliable figures.
1:13.2	But where some research has been done, such as in America, it does seem to be a trend.
1:19.1	And so that's what we're starting with, with our first conversation by my colleague, Luke Jones.
1:24.2	Laura is 65 and lives in Richmond, Virginia, and hosts a podcast about dating when
1:29.7	Gray. Stephen is a 68-year-old writer in North Carolina, and the first voice you'll hear is 75-year-old
1:37.5	Edith in Massachusetts. She begins by explaining when she knew her marriage of almost 30 years was over.
1:44.6	We were both artists, designers.
1:47.2	We did a lot of work together, really fine work projects.
1:51.3	Yet I just found myself in a time of emotional loneliness.
1:55.1	Can you remember when you realized it was over?
1:57.9	For me, it was, we had worked on a book project. I designed and illustrated for
2:03.6	Bert and I, and he said, you're just the illustrator. And I remember just my heart just broke,
2:12.0	and I realized that he didn't respect me. And you were 56 when that happened. Did you instigate divorce proceedings?
2:20.5	I think I just withdrew more and more and then he did. He really knew how to divorce. I wasn't his
	...

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