Green joy & Farage ‘Clutching at More Straws Than a Masturbating Scarecrow’. 💚
The Trawl
Jemma Forte & Marina Purkiss
4.7 • 867 Ratings
🗓️ 4 March 2026
⏱️ 49 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
This week on The Trawl, Marina and Jemma enjoy one of life’s small but deeply satisfying pleasures: Nigel Farage losing an election and immediately blaming everyone except himself.
Instead of the predicted triumph, Reform got absolutely walloped by a Green candidate who is, among other things, a plumber. Which is awkward when your entire campaign strategy revolves around telling everyone you’re the voice of “ordinary people”.
Naturally, the reaction has been measured and dignified. Just kidding. Nigel Farage immediately blamed “sectarian voting”, Reform supporters blamed Muslims, the right-wing press blamed immigrants, and the Telegraph briefly blamed reality itself. Meanwhile. the BBC is still trying to work out how to report a Green victory without sounding too enthusiastic about it.
The ladies trawl through the fallout: the media meltdown, the conspiracy theories, Labour’s dodgy campaign tactics, and the curious phenomenon of the losers getting far more airtime than the people who actually won.
Plus: Nigel Farage clutching at more straws than a masturbating scarecrow, some spectacularly unhinged press coverage, and one glorious heckling moment that perfectly sums up the mood.
Democracy - occasionally it still works.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Proud Patriot not able to win a British seat. |
| 0:02.9 | It's a bit embarrassing, Mr Goodwin, wouldn't you say? |
| 0:17.3 | Hello and welcome to The Trall, where we sought through the headlines so you don't spiral alone. |
| 0:21.5 | Because if you opened up a news app this week and thought, surely that satire. |
| 0:26.1 | I'm afraid it was not. |
| 0:27.8 | I'm Marina Perkis. |
| 0:28.8 | And I'm Gemma Forte, and before we get into it all, trawlers, we've made it. |
| 0:34.1 | It's March. |
| 0:35.2 | And this week, for a puzzling few hours, this sort of white orb thing glowed |
| 0:41.1 | in the sky a little bit, and comedian Ali Woods noticed it too. All right, everyone, that's a wrap |
| 0:46.4 | on the bad mental health for about eight months. I was getting a bit worried there. I thought |
| 0:50.2 | I might have to start going to therapy or change my bad habits, but it's on my face again. |
| 0:57.2 | It's all fine. Let's get the beer gardeners going, come on. |
| 1:04.1 | And he wasn't the only one to notice. Showtunes 2 Eurovision also said everyone in the UK, |
| 1:10.6 | now it's hit 15 degrees and the sun is shining for the first time this year over Jane McDonald. Oh, God. |
| 1:14.5 | Here comes the sun and I say, it's all right. |
| 1:23.3 | I just love the confidence of a Beatles cover. |
| 1:26.8 | And in the video for that, Jane, the queen, absolute queen of Hans. |
| 1:32.1 | She's in a swimming pool. |
| 1:33.6 | Looks like, I don't know, it could be the Al Garver's from her, with a cup of tea, |
| 1:36.7 | like a big mug of hot tea. |
| 1:39.1 | And vintage wardrobe Jojo said, like Jane, I don't mind exotic holidays. |
... |
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