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Ask the Pastor with J.D. Greear

Greatest Hits: How Do You Honor a Toxic Parent?

Ask the Pastor with J.D. Greear

J.D. Greear

Christianity, Religion & Spirituality

4.9624 Ratings

🗓️ 10 June 2024

⏱️ 9 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

This summer we are looking at some of the most popular Ask the Pastor episodes over the years. This week, Pastor J.D. discusses how to honor a toxic parent.

A glimpse inside this episode:

* This brings us to one of the "big 10" — the 10 Commandments. There are a couple of things to understand starting with the 10 commandments are divided into two sections. The first four deal primarily with our relationship with God. The last five deal with our relationship to each other. Honoring your parents is the "hinge" in the middle, so which group does it belong to? Well, both. It's the bridge between the two categories.
* When we're young, our parents stand in for God. By submitting to our parents, we're learning to submit to God.
* To "honor" your parents means to recognize parenthood as the temporary stand-in for God that it is, and you respect your parents accordingly. When you're young, that means obeying them, and for your whole life it means respecting them.
* If your situation is abusive, you need to get yourself out. Call 800-799-SAFE, the domestic violence hotline.
* If your situation is not abusive, understand that you can respect the institution your parents represent even when you don't represent them as individuals. When honoring your parents, you are honoring the God behind your parents whose authority is represented by them.

Honoring your parents is really a means to honoring God.

Lean not on your ability as a parent; lean on God's grace as the hope for your child.

Want to ask J.D. a question? Head to our Ask The Pastor hub to submit your question!

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Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Hey everybody, welcome to Ask the Pastor with J.D. Greer and I am Matt Love, your host. And last week, we started

0:15.5

counting down the most listened to episodes in the history of the podcast. So this week, we're going to tackle an episode

0:22.7

from a series we did on family and relationships. And the topic is, how do you honor a toxic

0:29.9

parent? Our listener, Eli, wrote into us and just shared his heart on something that's very personal that he's dealing with,

0:42.2

something that I'm sure a lot of us have struggled with at different times.

0:45.9

But he said, hello, Pastor Greer, I'm struggling with how to honor a toxic mother.

0:51.6

I know the Bible teaches to honor your father and mother, but I am unsure how to do

0:55.7

this with a mother who is toxic and doesn't understand boundaries that my future wife and I have

1:00.4

set in place to protect our marriage. My question is, how does someone honor their parents when the

1:06.4

parents are toxic to their kids' lives? Well, Matt, let me first say to our listener. I know that's a painful question to ask.

1:12.7

And it's one that I actually get with some surprising frequency here at our church.

1:18.5

So I know it's something that a lot of people think about.

1:21.3

What does it mean to honor your parents?

1:22.9

And how long do you do that?

1:24.2

And what happens when they're telling you things that you know or not the right thing after after you become an adult and sometimes on into marriage exactly they're they're saying

1:31.9

things and they're trying to speak into your life and control you in ways that you don't think is

1:35.9

helpful and like you know our listener is saying sometimes that's even toxic you know this brings us to

1:41.4

one of the one of the big ten one of the the ten commandments. It's the fifth commandment.

1:45.4

And what it says is honor your father and mother, that your days may be long in the land

1:49.7

that the Lord your God has given you.

1:51.6

Now, a couple things to understand this commandment that are important in terms of background.

1:57.0

The ten commandments are divided into two basic sections.

...

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