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Headspace Studio

Hello and welcome to Radio Headspace and Thursday. It's Eve here. Thanks for tuning in. The other

day I was catching up with a friend. Unfortunately she's been having a really difficult time with

her husband and she said something to me that really got me thinking about the expectations

that we place on each other. They'd ended up in an argument about who was going to take

the dog to the vet to get his updated vaccinations and she was describing the argument and shouted

out angrily, why couldn't he just do it? He always expects that I will do these things.

When I heard her loud and clear, the problem with expectations though is that more often

than not, the other person doesn't actually know what it is that you're expecting of

them. And if our experience doesn't match our expectations, it can create a lot of

shame, resentment, and anger. So after we sat for a little time, I suggested that we do

some mindful breathing together. Deep breathing sends a signal to the brain that all is okay

and having been in the great expectations situation myself, I said the thing that had

helped me the most was actually communicating what my needs were. A while back, a friend

of mine had shared a really great exercise called the Temperature Test that was developed

by a family therapist called Virginia Satir. It's available online so you can easily look

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