Two-thirds of the musicians booked for America's 250th birthday, looked at the lineup, looked at who was actually responsible for it, and then pieced out.

So the president of the United States went on his own website and ordered himself to be the headliner.

In the third person, too, he actually called himself the goat. He said that he

draws bigger crowds than Elvis without a guitar. Y'all, this man turns 80 in two weeks.

Now, this weekend also, a federal judge froze his $1.8 billion personal slush fund. You know,

the one I discussed in the previous episode,

he built by suing his own government and settling with himself. More than a dozen Republican senators want it dead. Ted Cruz called the meeting about it one of the roughest he'd ever seen.

Also, his former attorney general spent five hours behind a closed door not under oath, not on camera,

meeting, and she was refusing to say whether Trump told her to bury the Epstein files.

And the Republican chairman was the one responsible for ensuring that this was not on camera and there was no video.

Also, the White House finally released his physical at midnight on Friday.

He weighs 14 pounds more than last year, and his doctor says that his heart is somehow 14 years

younger than the rest of him. An AI, like, looked at his EKG and said, oh, no, you're 16 again, sir.

The new Homeland Security Secretary went on Fox and floated the idea of shutting down

international flights into sanctuary cities, obviously just to punish them.

If you think this is that shit, yes, both sides pretty much both do.

And experts from both sides say that the planes can't just land somewhere else.

They can't just reroute. They would just cancel altogether. Red states, blue states, everyone would be

grounded. And all of this out of spite. Trump posted 26 times in two hours on Saturday evening,

including an AI picture of himself dunking a basketball on the governor of New York.

Also a really weird fantasy that he had about a personal golden dome over the White House so missiles couldn't reach him specifically.

And in case you somehow missed it, there is now a UFC cage going up on the

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