Welcome to Fitstog Radio. It's me, your host for 13 and a half years now coming up on the 1000th episode next week. This is number 999.

I've thought about this date coming for a long time. I'm very excited about it. We've got something very special planned for this 1000th episode. I wanted to get a really meaningful, exciting guest.

And we recorded yesterday. I'm not going to say who it is, but it's somebody really great. And we did something interesting on the podcast. So look forward to that next week.

I've been kind of looking back, I've been getting nostalgic and looking back at the podcast over the last started in August 12, 2009. And I've been thinking about, by the way, I'm going to keep the intro short. Last week I had Tim Dylan on. And we got a lot of views on the YouTube. We just had 100,000 views on YouTube, which is a lot for this show.

And, but a lot of the comments, not a lot, but enough to bother me was that the intro was too long. I guess because a lot of people tuned in to see Tim. And they don't know me and they don't give a fuck about my birthday or my kids or anything personal. They just wanted to see Tim Dylan really.

But hopefully that brings some new eyes to the podcast. Welcome. If you've returned, I hope you enjoyed the Tim Dylan episode, but we'll keep this short. But I just been thinking about over the years, like people say to me, what was your favorite podcast? Impossible to say.

There were some that were really meaningful. Carl Reiner was a really big deal for me. He was a hero mine as a kid. Brian Wilson from the Beach Boys. I'm a Beach Boys fanatic. That was a big deal. But like just as important to me was like the people that I had on before they were famous when they were just struggling banging out sets at the comedy store or the improv. And we got to know each other just standing in the back hallways of the clubs and I'd bring them on because I thought they were funny.

And then they went on to become very successful. You know, people like Sebastian and Gerard Carmichael Tiffany haddish. Leslie Jones. A lot of people will talk more about it next week when we do the thousandth episode. But I'm excited about that. I'm in Louisville, Kentucky right now working at a new club called Laf Louisville. Great club. Not a huge turnout.

It's brand. It's the second week of the club and nobody knows where it is. So they're trying to get in people's consciousness. But if you live in this town, support the club. It's a great. It's a great new venture. And I love the city. Holy shit. Last night I was out at an area called Nulu, which is their kind of hip downtown fun area.

There's you can go to the Muhammad Ali museum, the Louisville slugger baseball bat plant tour. KFC KFC is from here. I mean, they got everything. They got the fucking Kentucky Derby. This is this is a happening town. And it's really cheap to live in. I think if I was a young person, I would strongly consider moving to Louisville, Kentucky.

And people have a sweet Southern accent, not too syrupy, just nice, just perfect. And they can take a joke. I've been shitting on them and they're good with it, which I like. Speaking of shitting, I realized something. It's Saturday at 6 p.m. right now. I got here Thursday. And I haven't taken a shit. Like I just noticed at the toilet paper, you know what I hotel, they make a little triangle out of the corner.

It's still there. And the triangle is often still there when I check out of a hotel after three days. I don't think about not shitting, but subconsciously, I just don't let myself. And I don't know why I think maybe I have become very accustomed to my bidet. I love my bidet. It's and it's not a fancy bidet. We've talked about this. It is a cold water. Hard blasting. It's like a fucking anti-vibration.

Fucking anti-war protest with the cops shooting a fire hose in my asshole. That's how strong it is. It's powerful. And it caused a hemorrhoid because I went a little too hard a few weeks ago. But I don't need the warm water bidet. I like the cold. It's like working out. We have to work out. Do you want a hot cup of tea? No. You want a cold bottle of water.

When you run a marathon, do you want to sit in a hot tub? No. You want a cold plunge. Your asshole has been working overtime. It's doing what it does. See, only thing your asshole does is shit. And sometimes it doesn't do it for days. And when it does, it works up a sweat. All right, this is disgusting.

But the bidet is also cleaner. Like if you were a parrots turn once said this, if you were a peanut butter on your arm, are you going to wipe it off with a napkin? Or are you going to get some fucking water going on that? You're not going to get it off with the dry napkin.

So I should get it. Why don't I have a fucking sponsor that's a bidet? I believe in the product.

Anyway, I was listening to NPR today. And the newscaster's name is Lakshmi Singh. And I was thinking about all the insane names. NPR, it's like they picked the names of their broadcasters to show how woke they are. It's like Shirley Jihad. Jihad is a newscaster on NPR.

The other network they'd be like, look, we like your voice. You're very informed. You're a pro. But your last name is about a Muslim terrorist act. So we're going to not be able to hire you. It's like the island of misfit broadcasters. Here's some of the names because I, these are the ones I had to do some research online. These are the ones that I recognize from listening to NPR.

There's a Audi Cornish David Falken flick, Falken flick, Sprints, Arbigast, Corey Flintoff, Terry Gross, Cat Chow, Heady Lynn Hurtees. Okay. We get it. You'll hire anybody. Some have Lisp's. There's one of them that sounds like there's a new one.

And she sounds like she's trying not to cry. She has, she, and in the Middle East, it's like she's on the verge of breaking into tears the whole thing, which is kind of the mentality of NPR.

Everything is so sad and they are so sanctimonious and they are so hard for, and don't get me wrong. I love NPR. I listen, but I listen with, I can't listen all the time. It gets to be too much. And, and I was thinking, we'll be funny to like hire a newscaster because we all love when a newscaster cries. Why not get up just a bumbling idiot who cries at everything as one of your newscasters.

That would be hysterical and one who can't not laugh at the news at tragic the more, maybe they've, they're like, what do you call that disorder where you yell curses there, they're, they're, whatever it is, but they laugh at tragedy and one who cries at happy stuff.

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