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This episode is brought to you by Blots and Gratitudes. Tonight we'll read the next chapter of Good Wives, written by Luisa May Alcott, titled Learning to Forget. This is also known as the second half of the Little Women novel, and is considered the 41st chapter as part of that work as a whole. In our lost chapter, the March family drew closer together as they cherished their time with Beth and prepared for the inevitable. And now we pick up with Laurie as he strives to better himself.

After Amy's scathing advice, realizing he must move on from Joe's rejection. He attempts to channel his sorrow into music but finds himself distracted and uninspired. Let's get cozy. Close your eyes. Relax your body into the softness of your bed. Now, take a few deep breaths. Amy's lecture did Lori Good, though, of course, he did not own it till long afterward. Men seldom do. For when women are the advisors, the lords of creation don't take the advice until they have persuaded themselves that it is just what they intended to do. Then they act upon it, and, if it succeeds, they give the weaker vessel half the credit of it. If it fails, they generously give her the whole. Laurie went back to his grandfather and was so dutifully devoted for several weeks weeks that the old gentleman declared the climate of niece had improved him wonderfully, and he had better try it again. There was nothing the young gentleman would have liked better, but elephants could not have dragged him back after the scolding he had received. Pride forbid, and whenever the longing grew very strong, he fortified his resolution by repeating the words that had made the deepest impression. I despise you. Go and do something splendid that will make her love you." Laurie turned the matter over in his mind so often that he soon brought himself to confess that he had been selfish and lazy. But then, when a man has a great sorrow, he should be indulged in all sorts of vagaries till he has lived it down. He felt that his blighted affections were quite dead now, and though he should never cease to be a faithful mourner, there was no occasion to wear his weeds ostentatiously. Joe wouldn't love him, But he might make her respect and admire him by doing something which should prove that a girl's no had not spoiled his life. He had always meant to do something, and Amy's advice was quite unnecessary. He had only been waiting till the aforesaid blighted affections were decently interred. That being done, he felt that he was ready to hide his stricken heart and still toil on. When he had a joy or grief, he put it into a song, So Lori resolved to embalm his love sorrow in music, and compose a requiem which should hero up Joe's soul and melt the heart of every hearer. Therefore, the next time the old gentleman found him getting restless and moody and ordered him off. He went to Vienna,

where he had musical friends and fell to work with the firm determination to distinguish himself. But whether the sorrow was too vast to be embodied in music or music to aetherial, to uplift a mortal woe, he soon discovered that the Requiem was beyond him, just at present. It was evident that his mind was not in working order yet, and his ideas needed clarifying. For often in the middle of a plaintive strain, He would find himself humming a dancing tune that vividly recalled the Christmas ball at Nice, especially the stout Frenchman, and put an effectual stop to tragic composition for the time being. Then he tried an opera, for nothing seemed impossible in the beginning, but here, again, unforeseen difficulties beset him. He wanted Joe for his heroine and called upon his memory to supply him with tender recollections and romantic visions of his love. But memory turned traitor, and, as if possessed by the perverse spirit of the girl, would only recall Joe's oddities, faults, and freaks, would only show her in the most unsentimental aspects.

Beating mats with her head tied up in a bandana, barricading herself with the sofa pillow or throwing cold water over his passion, and an irresistible laugh spoiled the pensif picture he was endeavoring to paint. Joe wouldn't be put into the opera at any price, and he had to give her up with a blessed that girl what a torment she is, and a clutch at his hair, as became a distracted composer. when he looked about him for another and a less intractable damsel to immortalize in melody, memory produced one with the most obliging readiness. This phantom wore many faces, but it always had golden hair, was enveloped in a diaphanus cloud, and floated airily before his mind's eye in a pleasing chaos of roses, peacocks, white ponies and blue ribbons. He did not give the complacent rath any name, but he took her for his heroin, and grew quite fond of her, as well he might, for he gifted her with every gift and grace under the sun, and escorted her, unscathed, through trials which would have annihilated any mortal woman.

Thanks to this inspiration, he got on swimmingly for a time, but gradually the work lost its charm, and he forgot to compose, while he sat, musing, pen in hand or roamed about the gay city to get new ideas and refresh his mind, which seemed to be in a somewhat unsettled state that winter. He did not do much, but he thought a great deal and was conscious of a change of some sort going on in spite of himself. It's genius-simmering, perhaps. I'll let it simmer and see what comes of it," he said, with a secret suspicion all the while that it wasn't genius, but something far more common. Whatever it was, it simmered to some purpose, for he grew more and more discontented with his desulterie life. Began to long for some real and earnest work to go at, soul and body. And finally came to the wise conclusion that everyone who loved music was not a composer. Returning from one of Mozart's grand operas, splendidly performed at the Royal Theatre, he looked over his own, played a few of the best parts, sat staring up at the busts of Mendelssohn, Beethoven, and Bach, who stared benignly back again. Then suddenly he tore up his music sheets one by one, and as the last fluttered out of his hand, he said soberly to himself, She's right, talent isn't genius, and you can't make it so. That music has taken the vanity out of me as Rome took it out of her, and I won't be a humbug any longer. Now what shall I do?" That seems a hard question to answer, and Laurie began to wish he had to work for his daily bread. Now, if ever, occurred an eligible opportunity for going to the devil, as he once forcibly expressed it, Priya had plenty of money and nothing to do. And Satan is proverbially fond of providing employment for full and idle hands. The poor fellow had temptations enough from without and from within, but he was stood them pretty well, for, much as he valued liberty, he valued good faith and confidence more. So his promise to his grandfather and his desire to be able to look honestly into the eyes of the women who loved him and say, all's well. Kept him safe and steady. Very likely some Mrs. Grundy will observe, I don't believe it. Boys will be boys. Young men must sow their wild oats, and women must not expect miracles. I dare say you don't, Mrs. Grundy, but it's true nevertheless. Women work a good many miracles, and I have a persuasion that they may perform even that of raising the standard of manhood by refusing to echo such sayings. Let the boys be boys, the longer the better, and let the young men sew their wild oats if they must, but mothers, sisters, and friends may help to make the crop a small one, and keep many tears from spoiling the harvest by believing and showing that they believe in the possibility of loyalty to the virtues which make men manliest and good women's eyes. If it is a feminine delusion, leave us to enjoy it while we may, for without it half the beauty and the romance of life is lost. And sorrowful for boedings would embitter all our hopes of the brave, tender hearted, little lads, who still love their mothers better than themselves, and are not ashamed to own it. Laurie thought that the task of forgetting his love for Joe would absorb all his powers for years. To his great surprise, he discovered it grew easier every day. He refused to believe it at first, got angry with himself, and couldn't understand it. But these hearts of ours are curious and contrary things, and time and nature work their will in spite of us. Laurie's heart wouldn't ache. The wound persisted in healing with a rapidity that astonished him. And instead of trying to forget, he found himself trying to remember. He had not foreseen this turn of affairs and was not prepared for it. He was disgusted with himself, surprised at his own fickleness, and full of a queer mixture of disappointment and relief that he could recover from such a tremendous blow so soon. He carefully stirred up the embers of his loss love, but they refused to burst into a blaze. There

was only a comfortable glow that warmed and did him good, without putting him into a fever. And he was reluctantly obliged to confess that the boyish passion was slowly subsiding into a more tranquil sentiment. Very tender, a little sad and resentful still, but there was sure to pass away in time, leaving a brotherly affection which would last unbroken to the end. As the word brotherly passed through his mind in one of these reveries, he smiled and glanced up at the picture of Mozart that was before him. Well, he was a great man, and when he couldn't have one sister, he took the other and was happy.

Laurie did not utter the words, but he thought them. And the next instant kissed the little old ring, saying to himself, No, I won't. I haven't forgotten. I never can. I'll try again. And if that fails, why then? Leaving his sentence unfinished. He seized pen and paper and wrote to Joe, telling her that he could not settle to anything while there was the least hope of her changing her mind. Couldn't she, wouldn't she, and let him come home and be happy? While waiting for an answer, he did nothing, but he did it energetically, for he was in a fever of impatience. It came at last and settled his mind effectively on one point, for Joe decidedly couldn't and wouldn't. She was wrapped up in Beth, and never wished to hear the word love again. Then she begged him to be happy with somebody else, but always to keep a little corner of his heart for his loving sister, Joe. In a post-script, she desired him not to tell Amy that Beth was worse. She was coming home in the spring, and there was no need of saddening the remainder of her stay. That would be time enough, please God, but Laurie must write to her often and not let her feel lonely, homesick, or anxious. So I will, at once, poor little girl, it will be a sad going home for her, I'm afraid. And Lori opened his desk, as if writing to Amy had been the proper conclusion of the sentence left unfinished some weeks before. But he did not write the letter that day for, as he rummaged out his best paper, he came across something which changed his purpose. Tumbling about in one part of his desk among bills,, passports, and business documents of various kinds, were several of Joe's letters. And in another compartment, were three notes from Amy, carefully tied up with one of her blue ribbons, and sweetly suggestive of the little dead roses put away inside. With a half repentant, half amused expression, Lori gathered up all Joe's letters, smoothed, folded, and put them neatly into a small drawer of the desk. stood a minute, turning the ring thoughtfully on his finger, then slowly drew it off, laid it with the letters, locked the drawer, and went out to hear high-mass as St. Stephens. Feeling as if there had been a funeral, and though not overwhelmed with affliction, this seemed a more proper way to spend the rest of the day and in writing letters to charming young ladies. The letter went very soon, however, and was promptly answered, for Amy was homesick, and confessed it in the most delightfully confiding manner. The correspondence flourished famously, and letters flew to and fro with unfailing regularity, all through the early spring. Laurie sold his busts, made alomets of his opera, and went back to Paris, hoping somebody would arrive before long. He wanted desperately to go to Nice, but would not till he was asked, and Amy would not ask him, for just then she was having little experiences of her own,

which made her rather wish to avoid the quizzical eyes of our boy. Fred Vaughn had returned and put the question to which she had once decided to answer, Yes, thank you. But now she said, no, thank you, kindly, but steadily, for, when the time came, her courage failed her, and she found that something more than money and position was needed to satisfy the new longing that filled her heart so full of tender hopes and fears. The words, Fred is a good fellow, but not at all the man I fancied you, whatever like. And Lori's face when he uttered them, kept returning to her as pertenaciously as her own dead when she said and looked, if not in words, I shall marry for money." They troubled her to remember that now. She wished she could take it back. It sounded so unwomently. She didn't want Laurie to think her a heartless, worldly creature. She didn't care to be a queen of society now, half so much as she did to be a lovable woman. She was so glad he didn't hate her for the dreadful thing she said, but took them so beautifully and was kinder than ever. These letters were such a comfort. For the home letters were very irregular and were not half so satisfactory as his when they did come. It was not only a pleasure, but a duty to answer them. For the poor fellow was for lawn, and needed petting, since Joe persisted in being stony hearted. She ought to have made an effort, and tried to love him. It couldn't be very hard. Many people would be proud and glad to have such a dear boy care for them. But Joe never would act like other girls, so there was nothing to do but be very kind and treat him like a brother. If all brothers were treated as well as Laurie was at this period, they would be a much happier race of beings than they are.

Amy never lectured now. She asked his opinion on all subjects. She was interested in everything he did. Made charming little presence for him, and sent him two letters a week full of lively gossip, sisterly confidances, and captivating sketches of the lovely scenes about her. As few brothers are complemented by having their letters carried about in their sister's pockets, read and reread diligently, cried over when short, kissed when long, and treasured carefully, we will not hint that Amy did any of these fond and foolish things. But she certainly did grow a little pale and pensive that spring, lost much of her relish for society, and went out sketching alone a good deal. She never had much to show when she came home, but was studying nature, I dare say, while she sat for hours, with her hands folded. On the terrace at Velrosa, were absently sketched any fancy that occurred to her. A stalwart knight carved on a tomb. A young man asleep in the grass with his hat over his eyes, or a curly haired girl in gorgeous array, promenading down a ballroom on the arm of a tall gentleman, both faces being left a blur according to the last fashion in art, which was safe, but not altogether satisfactory. Her aunt thought that she regretted her answer to Fred, and finding denial useless and explanations impossible, Amy left her to think what she liked, taking care that Laurie should know that Fred had gone to Egypt. That was all, but he understood it, and looked relieved, as he said to himself, with a venerable air. I was sure she would think better of it. Poor old fellow, I've been through it all, and I can sympathize. With that, he heaved a great sigh, and then, as if he had discharged his duty to the past, put his feet up on the sofa, and enjoyed Amy's letter luxuriously. While these changes were going on abroad, trouble had come at home, but the letter telling that Beth was failing never reached Amy.

And when the next found her, the grass was green above her sister. The sad news met her at Bueve, for the heat had driven them from Niesenmay, and they had traveled slowly to Switzerland by way of Genoa and the Italian lakes. She bore it very well and quietly submitted to the family decree that she should not shorten her visit. For, since it was too late to say goodbye to Beth, she had better stay and let absence soften her sorrow. But her heart was very heavy. She longed to be at home, and every day looked wistfully across the lake, waiting for Laurie to come and comfort her. He did come very soon, for the same male brought letters to them both, but he was in Germany and it took some days to reach him. The moment he read it, he packed his knapsack, bay-dew to his fellow pedestrians, and was off to keep his promise, with a heartful of joy and sorrow, hope and suspense. He knew the vey well, and as soon as the boat touched the little quay, he hurried along the shore to Latour, where the carols were living and pension. The garçon was in despair that the whole family had gone to take a promenade on the lake, but no, the blonde Madame waselle might be in the Chateau garden. If Mezeur would give himself the pain of sitting down, a flash of time should present her. But Mezeur could not wait even a flash of time. And in the middle of the speech departed to find Madame Wazile himself. A pleasant old garden on the borders of the lovely lake, with chestnuts rustling overhead, ivy climbing everywhere, and the black shadow of the tower falling far across the sunny water. At one corner of the wide, low wall was a seat, and here Amy often came to read or work or console herself with the beauty all about her. She was sitting here that day, leaning her head on her hand with a homesick heart and heavy eyes, thinking of Beth and wondering why Laurie did not come. She did not hear him cross the courtyard beyond, nor see him pause in the archway that led from the subterranean path into the garden. He stood a minute looking at her with new eyes, seeing what no one had ever seen before, the tender side of Amy's character. Everything about her mutely-suggested love and sorrow, the blood had letters in her lap, the black ribbon that tied up her hair, the womanly pain and patience in her face, even the little ebony cross at her throat seemed pathetic to Laurie, for he had given it to her, and she wore it as her only ornament. If he had any doubts about the reception she would give him, they were said at rest the minute she looked up and saw him, for dropping everything she ran to him, exclaiming, in a tone of unmistakable love and longing, oh, Lori, Lori, I knew you'd come to me. think everything was said and settled then for, as they stood together quite silent for a moment, with the dark head bent down protectingly over the light one. Amy felt that no one could comfort and sustain her so well as Laurie. And Laurie decided that Amy was the only woman in the world who could fill Joe's place and make him happy. He did not tell her so, but she was not disappointed. For both felt the truth, were satisfied, and gladly left the rest to silence. In a minute, Amy went back to her place, and while she dried her tears, Laura gathered up the scattered papers, finding in the sight of sundry well-worn letters, and suggestive sketches, good omens of the future. As he sat down beside her, Amy felt shy again, and turned rosy red at the recollection of her impulsive greeting. I couldn't help it. I felt so lonely and sad and was so very glad to see you. It was such a surprise to look up and find you, just as I was beginning to fear you wouldn't come, she said. Trying and vain to speak quite naturally. I came the minute I heard. I wish I could say something to comfort you for the loss of dear little Beth, but I can only feel, and I could not get any further for he too turned bashful all of a sudden, and did not quite know what to say. He longed to lay Amy's head down on his shoulder, and tell her to have a good cry, but he did not dare. So, took her hand instead, and gave it a sympathetic squeeze that was better than words. You didn't say anything, this comforts me, she said softly. Beth is well and happy, and I mustn't wish her back, but I dread the going home, much as I long to see them all. We won't talk about it now, for it makes me cry, and I want to enjoy you while you stay. You need to go right back, need you? Not if you want me dear. I do so much. Aunt and flow are very kind, but you seem like one of the family. And it would be so comfortable to have you for a little while. Amy spoke and looked so like a homesick child, whose heart was full, that Laurie forgot his bashfulness all at once, and gave her just what she wanted, the petting she was used to, and the cheerful conversation she needed. Poor little soul, you look as if you grieved yourself half sick. I'm going to take care of you, so don't cry anymore. But come and walk about with me. The wind is too chilly for you to sit still." He said. In the half-corressing, half-commanding way that Amy liked, as he tied on her hat, drew her arm through his, and began to pace up and down the sunny walk under the new-leaved chestnuts. He felt more at ease upon his legs, and Amy found it very pleasant to have a strong arm to lean upon. A familiar face to smile at her, and a kind voice to talk delightfully for her alone. The quaint old garden had sheltered many pairs of lovers, and seemed expressly made for them, so sunny and secluded was

it, with nothing but the tower to overlook them, and the wide lake to carry away the echo of their words as it rippled by below. For now, were this new pair walked and, or rested on the wall, enjoying the sweet influences which gave such a charm to time and place. And when an unromantic dinner bell warned them away, Amy felt as if she left her burden of loneliness and sorrow behind her in the chateau garden. The moment Mrs. Carol saw the girls' altered face, she was illuminated with a new idea and exclaimed to herself, now I understand it all, the child has been pining for young Lawrence. Bless my heart. I never thought of such a thing. With praiseworthy discretion, the good lady said nothing, and betrayed no sign of enlightenment, but cordially urged Lori to stay. and begged Amy to enjoy his society, for it would do her more good than so much solitude. Amy was a model of docility, and as her aunt was a good deal occupied with flow, she was left to entertain her friend, and did it with more than her usual success. At niece, Laurie had lounged and Amy had scolded. At Vive, Laurie was never idle, but always walking, riding, boating, or studying, in the most energetic manner. While Amy admired everything he did, and followed his example as far and as fast as she could. He said the change was owing to the climate, and she did not contradict him, being glad of a like excuse for her own recovered health and spirits.

The invigorating air did them both good, and much exercise worked whole sum changes in minds as well as bodies. They seemed to get clearer views of life and duty up there among the everlasting hills. The fresh winds blew away desponding doubts, delusive fantasies, and moody mists. The warm spring sunshine brought out all sorts of aspiring ideas, tender hopes and happy thoughts. The lake seemed to wash away the troubles of the past, and the grand old mountains to look benignly down upon them, saying, little children, love one another. In spite of the new sorrow, it was a very happy time, so happy that Laurie could not bear to disturb it by a word. It took him a little while to recover from his surprise at the rapid cure of his first, and as he had firmly believed, his last and only love. He consoled himself for the seeming disloyalty by the thought that Joe's sister was almost the same as Joe's self, and the conviction that would have been impossible to love any other woman but Amy so soon and so well. His first wooing had been of the tempestuous order, and he looked back upon it as if through a long V of years, with a feeling of compassion blended with regret. He was not ashamed of it, but put it away as one of the bitter sweet experiences of his life, for which he could be grateful when the pain was over. second woo wooing, he resolved, should be as calm and simple as possible. There was no need of having a scene, hardly any need of telling Amy that he loved her. She knew it without words, and had given him his answer long ago. It all came about so naturally that no one could complain, and he knew that everybody would be pleased, even Joe. But when our first little passion has been crushed, we are apt to be wary and slow in making a second trial. So, Laurie let the days pass, enjoying every hour, and leaving to chance the utterance of the word that would put an end to the first and sweetest part of his new romance. He had rather imagined that the Denumon would take place in the Chateau Garden by moonlight, and in the most graceful and deckerous manner. But it turned out exactly the reverse, for the matter was settled on the lake at noon day, and a few blunt words. They had been floating about all the mornings. There was pretty Vivae in the valley and La Somme upon the hill beyond. A cloudless blue sky overhead and the bluer lake below dotted with the picturesque boats that look like white-winged gulbs. They had been talking of this and that. Neither had read the book, they may have been mentioned, but they knew it was a love story, and each privately wondered if it was half as interesting as their own. Amy had been dabbling her hand in the water during the little paws that fell between them. And when she looked up, Laurie was leaning on his ores, with an expression in his eyes that made her say hastily, merely for the sake of saying something, you must be tired, rest a little, let me roll, it will do me good for since you came I have been all together lazy and luxurious. I'm not tired, but you may take that ore, if you like. There's room enough, though I have to sit nearly in the middle, else the boat won't trim." Returned Lori, as if he rather liked the arrangement. Feeling that she had not mended matters much, Amy took the offered third of a seat, shook her hair over her face and accepted an or. She rode as well as she did many other things. And though she used both hands and Lori but one, the orres kept time, and the boat went smoothly through the water. How well we pooled together, don't we? Said Amy, who objected to silence just then? So well that I wish we might always pull in the same boat.

Will you, Amy? Very tenderly. Yes, Laurie. Very low. Then they both stopped rowing. and unconsciously added a pretty little tablo of human love and happiness to the dissolving views reflected in the wake.