Music Welcome to Snewscast, the podcast designed to help you fall asleep. Find us at Snewscast.com and if you enjoy our show, please share us with a friend. This episode is brought to you by Beethoven's piano sonata number eight. Tonight, we'll read the next chapter of Good Wives, written by Luisa May Alcott titled Heartache. This is also known as the second half of the Little Women novel and is considered the 35th chapter as part of that work as a whole. In the last chapter, Joe tried to make a living by writing sensational stories for a magazine, keeping it a secret from her family. She was successful, but when Professor Bear gently criticized such work as shallow and harmful, it made her reconsider. Realizing she was sacrificing her integrity for quick money, Joe burned her manuscripts and decided to stop writing anything she wouldn't be proud of.

Though it meant starting over, it marked a turning point as she chose a more genuine path, guided by her own conscience and the professor's encouragement. Let's get cozy.

Close your eyes. Relax your body into the softness of your bed. Now take a few deep breaths. Whatever his motive might have been, Laurie studied to some purpose that year for he graduated with honor and gave the Latin oration with grace and eloquence, so his friend said, they were all there, his grandfather, oh so proud, Mr. and Mrs. March, John and Meg, Joe and Beth, and all exalted over him with the sincere admiration which boys make light of at the time, but fail to win from the world by any after triumphs. I've got to stay for this confounded supper, but I shall be home early tomorrow. You'll come and meet me as usual girls." Lori said, as he put the sisters into the carriage after the joys of the day were over. He said girls, but he meant Joe, for she was the only one who kept up the old custom. She had not the heart to refuse her splendid successful boy anything, and answered warmly. I'll come Teddy, Rainer Shine, and March before you, playing Hail the Conquering Herobs. Laurie thanked her with a look that made her think in a sudden panic. Oh, dearie me, I know he'll say something, and then what shall I do? Evening, meditation, and morning work, somewhat elayed her fears. And having decided that she wouldn't be vain enough to think people were going to propose when she had given them every reason to know what her answer would be, she set forth at the appointed time. Hoping Teddy wouldn't do anything to make her hurt his poor feelings. A call at Meg's and a refreshing sniff and dip at the daisy and demi-john still further fortified her for the teta-teta. But when she saw a stalwart figure looming in the distance, she had a strong desire to turn about and run away. She always used to take his arm on these occasions. Now she did not. And he made no complaint, which was a bad sign, but talked on rapidly about all sorts of far away subjects, till they turned from the road into the little path that led homeward through the grove. Then he walked more slowly, suddenly lost his fine flow of language, and now and then a dreadful pause occurred.

To rescue the conversation from one of the wells of silence into which it kept falling, Joe said hastily. Now you must have a good long holiday. I intend to. in his resolute tone, May Joe look up quickly to find him looking down at her with an expression that assured her the dreaded moment had come and made her put out her hand with an imploring. No, Teddy, please don't. I will, and you must hear me. It's no use, Joe. We've got to have it out, and the sooner the better for both of us," he answered, getting flushed and excited all at once. Say what you like then, I'll listen," said Joe, with a desperate sort of patience. Laurie was a young lover, but he was in earnest and meant to have it out if he died in the attempt. So he plunged into the subject with characteristic impetuosity, saying in a voice that would get choky now and then, in spite of manful efforts to keep it steady. I've loved you. Ever since I've known you, Joe, couldn't help it. You've been so good to me. I've tried to show it, but you wouldn't let me. Now I'm going to make you here and give me an answer before I can't go on so any longer. I wanted to save you this. I thought you'd understand. Begin, Joe. Finding it a great deal harder than she expected. I know you did, but the girls are so queer you never know what they mean. They say no when they mean yes and drive a man out of his wits just for the fun of it. Returned Lori. And trenching himself behind an undeniable fact. I don't. I never wanted to make you care for me so, and I went away to keep you from it if I could. And I thought so. It was like you, but it was no use. I only loved you all the more, and it worked so hard to please you, and I gave up billions and everything you didn't like, and waited and never complained, for I hoped you'd love me, though I'm not half good enough. Here there was a choke that couldn't be controlled, so he decapitated buttercups while he cleared his confounded throat. Yes, you are. You're a great deal to good for me, and I'm so grateful to you, and so proud and fond of you. I don't know why I can't love you as you want me to. I've tried, but I can't change the feeling. And it would be a lie to say I do when I don't. Really? Truly Joe? He stopped short and caught both her hands as he put his question with a look that she did not soon forget. Really, truly dear. They were in the grove now, close by the style, and when the last words fell reluctantly from Joe's lips, Laurie dropped her hands and turned as if to go on. But for once in his life, the fence was too much for him. So he just laid his head down on the mossy post and stood so still that Joe was frightened. Oh Teddy, I'm sorry, so desperately sorry, I could kill myself if it would do any good. I wish he wouldn't take it so hard, I can't help it. You know it's impossible for people to make themselves love each other if they don't. Cry Joe ineligently but remorsefully as she softly pat his shoulder. Remembering the time when he had comforted her so long ago.

They do sometimes, said a muffled voice from the post. I don't believe it's the right sort of love, and I'd rather not try it, was the decided answer. There was a long pause, while a blackbird sung blithely on the willow by the river, and the tall grass rustled in the wind. Presently, Joe said very soberly as she sat down on the step of the style. Laurie, I want to tell you something. He started as if he had been shot, threw up his head and cried out in a fierce tone, Don't tell me that Joe, I can't bear it now. Tell what? She asked, wondering at his violence, That you love that old man. What old man? Demanded Joe, thinking he must mean his grandfather. That devilish professor you were always writing about, if you say you love him, I know I shall do something desperate. And he looked as if he would keep his word, as he clenched his hands with a raffle spark in his eyes. Joe wanted to laugh, but restrained herself and said warmly, for she too was getting excited with all this. Don't swear Teddy, he isn't old nor anything bad, but good and kind, and the best friend I've got next to you. Pray, don't fly into a passion. I want to be kind, but I know I shall get angry if you abuse my professor. I haven't the least idea of loving him or anybody else. But you will after a while, and then what will become of me? You'll love someone else too, like a sensible boy, and forget all this trouble. I can't live anyone else, and I'll never forget you, Joe. Never. Never. With a stamp, do you emphasize his passionate words? What shall I do with him, side Joe? Finding that emotions were more unmanageable than she expected. You haven't heard what I wanted to tell you. Sit down and listen. For indeed I want to do right and make you happy," she said, hoping to soothe him with a little reason, which proved that she knew nothing about love. Seeing a ray of hope in that last speech, Laurie threw himself down on the ground at her feet, leaned his arm on the lower step of the style, and looked up at her with an expectant face. Now that arrangement was not conducive to calm speech or clear thought on Jo's part, for how could she say hard things to her boy, while he watched her with eyes full of love and longing, and lashes still wet with a bitter drop or two her hardness of heart had rung from him. She gently turned his head away, saying, as she stroked the wavy hair, which had been allowed to grow for her sake. How touching that was to be sure. I agree with Mother that you and I are not suited to each other, because our quick tempers and strong wills would probably make us very miserable if we were so foolish as to, paused a little over the last word, but Laurie uttered it with a rapturous expression. Mary, no we shouldn't. If you loved me, Joe, I should be a perfect saint, for you could make me anything you like. No, I can't. I've tried and failed, and I won't risk our happiness by such a serious experiment. We don't agree, and we never shall, so we'll be good friends all our lives, but we won't go and do anything rash." Yes, we will if we get the chance. mututtored, Laurie, rebelliously. Now do be reasonable and take a sensible view of the case. implored Joe, almost at her wit's end. I won't be reasonable. I don't want to take what you call a sensible view. It won't help me, and it only makes it harder. I don't believe you've got any heart. I wish I hadn't. There was a little quiver in Joe's voice, and thinking it a good omen, Laurie turned round, bringing all his persuasive powers to bear, as he said, in the weedle-sum tone that had never been so dangerously weedle-sum before. Don't disappoint us, dear. Everyone expects it. Grandpa has his heart set upon it. Your people like it, and I can't get on without you. Say you will, and let's be happy. Do. Do. Not until months afterward, did Joe understand how she had the strength of mind to hold fast to the resolution that she had made when she decided that she did not love her boy and never could. It was very hard to do, but she did it knowing that delay was both useless and cruel. I can't say yes truly, so I won't say it at all. You'll see that I'm right by and by and thank me for it. She began solemnly. I'll be hanged if I do. And Lori bounced up off the grass burning with indignation at the very idea. Yes, you will, persisted Joe. You'll get over this after a while, and find some lovely, accomplished girl who will adore you, and make a fine mistress for your fine house. I shouldn't. I'm homely and awkward and odd and old and you'd be ashamed of me and we should quarrel. We can't help it even now. And I shouldn't like elegant society and you would and you'd hate my scribbling and I couldn't get on without it and we should be unhappy and wish Wish we hadn't done it, and everything would be horrid. Anything more? Ask Laurie. Finding it hard to listen patiently to this prophetic burst. Nothing more except that I don't believe I shall ever marry. I'm happy as I am, love my liberty too well to be in a hurry to give it up for any mortal man. I know better, broken Lori. You think so now, but there'll come a time when you will care for somebody and you'll love him tremendously and live and die for him. I know you will. It's your way and I shall have to stand by and see it." And the despairing lover cast his hat upon the ground with a gesture that would have seemed comical if his face had not been so tragic. Yes, I will live and die for him if he ever comes and makes me love him in spite of myself, and you must do the best you can. Cry Joe losing patience with poor Teddy. I've done my best, but you won't be reasonable and it's selfish of you to keep teasing for what I can't give. I shall always be fond of you. Very fond indeed, as a friend, but I'll never marry you, and the sooner you believe it, the better for both of us. So now. Now that speech was like gunpowder. Laurie looked at her a minute as if he did not quite know what to do with himself. Then turned sharply away, saying in a desperate sort of tone, You'll be sorry someday Joe.

Oh where are you going?" she cried, for his face frightened her. To the devil was the consoling answer. A minute Joe's heart stood still as he swung himself down the bank toward the river. But it takes much folly, sin or misery to send a young man to a violent death, and Laurie was not one of the weak sort, who were conquered by a single failure. He had no thought of a melodramatic plunge, but some blind instinct led him to fling hat and coat into his boat and row away with all his might, making better time up the river than he had done in any race. Joe drew a long breath and unclasped her hands as she watched the poor fellow trying to outstrip the trouble which he carried in his heart. That will do him good and he'll come home in such a tender penitent state of mind that I shalt dare to see him. She said, adding, as she went slowly home, feeling as if she had murdered some innocent thing and buried it under the leaves. Now I must go and prepare Mr. Lawrence to be very kind to my boy. I wish he'd loved Beth, perhaps he may in time, but I began to think I was mistaken about her. Oh, dear, how can girls like to have lovers and refuse them? I think it's dreadful. Being sure that no one could do it so well as herself, she went straight to Mr. Lawrence, told the hard story bravely though, and then broke down, crying so dismaly over her own insensibility that the kind old gentlemen, though sorely disappointed, did not utter a reproach.

He found it difficult to understand how any girl could help loving Laurie, and hoped she would change her mind, but he knew even better than Joe that love cannot be forced. So he shook his head sadly and resolved to carry his boy out of harm's way. For young impetuosities parting words to Joe disturbed him more than he would confess. When Laurie came home, dead tired but quite composed, his grandfather met him as if he knew nothing and kept up the delusion very successfully for an hour or two. But when they sat together in the twilight, the time they used to enjoy so much, it was hard work for the old man to ramble on as usual, and harder still for the young one to listen to praises of the last year's success,

which to him now seemed like love's labor lost.

He bore it as long as he could, then went to his piano and began to play.

The windows were open, and Joe walking in the garden with Beth, for once understood music better than her sister, for he played the sonata pathetic and played it as he never did before. That's very fine, I dare say, but it's sad enough to make one cry. give her something gay or loud." said Mr. Lawrence, whose kind old heart was full of sympathy, which he longed to show, but knew not how. Laurie dashed into a lively or strained, played stormily for several minutes, and would have got through bravely, if in a momentary lull Mrs. Marcher's voice had not been heard calling, Joe dear come in, I want you. Just what Laurie longed to say, with a different meaning. As he listened, he lost his place. The music ended with a broken cord and the musician sat silent in the dark. I can't stand this muttered the old gentleman. Oh, he got, groped his way to the piano.

Later kind hand on either of the broad shoulders and said, as gently as a woman. I know, boy, I know. no answer for an instant.

Then Lori asked sharply, who told you, Joe herself? Then there's an end of it. And he shook off his grandfather's hands with an impatient motion. though grateful for the sympathy, his man's pride could not bear a man's pity. Not quite, I want to say one thing, and then there shall be an end of it. Return, Mr. Lawrence, with unusual mildness. You won't care to stay at home now, perhaps. I don't intend to run away from a girl. Joe can't prevent my seeing her, and I shall stay and do it as long as I like. Interrupted Lori in a defiant tone. Not if you are the gentleman I think you.

I'm disappointed, but the girl can't help it.

And the only thing left for you to do

is to go away for a time.

Where will you go?

Anywhere, I don't care what becomes of me.

And Lori got up with a reckless laugh that graded on his grandfather's ear. Take it like a man, don't do anything rash for God's sake. Why not go abroad as you planned and forget it? I can't. But you've been wild to go, and I promised you should go when you got through college. But I didn't mean to go alone. And Lori walked fast through the room with an expression which it was well his grandfather did not say. I don't ask you to go alone. someone ready someone ready and glad to go with you anywhere in the world. Who's there? Stopping to listen. Myself. Laurie came back as quickly as he went, put out his hand, saying huskily, I'm a selfish brute, but you know, grandfather. Lord help me, yes, I do know, for I've been through it all before, once in my own young days, and then with your father. Now, my dear boy, just sit quietly down in here my plan.

It's all settled and can be carried out at once." Said Mr. Lawrence, keeping hold of the young man, as if fearful that he would break away as his father had done before him. Well, sir, what is it?

And Laurie sat down without a sign of interest in face or voice. There is business in London that needs looking after. I meant you should attend to it, but I can do better myself, and things here will get on very well with Brooke to manage them. My partners do almost everything. I'm merely holding on until you take my place and can be off at any time. But you hate traveling, sir. I can't ask it of you at your age. Begin, Laurie. Who was grateful for the sacrifice? But much prefer to go alone if he went at all. The old gentleman knew that perfectly well and particularly desired to prevent it, for the mood in which he found his grandson assured him that it would not be wise to leave him to his own devices. So, stifling a natural regret at the thought of the home comforts, he would have to leave behind. He said stoutly, �Bless your soul, I'm not superannuated yet. I quite enjoy the idea. It will do me good. My old bones won't suffer. For traveling nowadays, it's almost as easy as sitting in a chair. A restless movement from Laurie suggested that his chair was not easy, or that he did not like the plan, and made the old man add hastily. I don't mean to be a marplot or a burden. I go because I think you'd feel happier than if I was left behind. I don't intend to get about with you, but leave you free to go where you like, while I am used myself in my own way. I've friends in London and Paris, and should like to visit them. Meanwhile, you can go to Italy, Germany, Switzerland, where you will, and enjoy pictures, music, scenery, and adventures to your heart's content. Now, Laurie felt just then that his heart was entirely broken and the world a howling wilderness. But at the sound of certain words which the old gentlemen artfully introduced into his closing sentence,

the broken heart gave an unexpected leap, and a green oasis or two suddenly appeared in the howling wilderness. side and then said in a spiritless tone, just as you like, sir, it doesn't matter where I go or what I do. It does to me, remember that, my lad, I give you entire liberty, but I trust you to make an honest use of it. Promise me that, Laurie. Anything you like, sir? Good. Thought the old gentlemen? You don't care now, but there'll come a time when that promise will keep you out of mischief, or I'm much mistaken. Being an energetic individual, Mr. Lawrence struck while the iron was hot, and before the blighted being recovered spirit enough to rebel, they were off. During the time necessary for preparation. Laurie bore himself as young gentleman usually do in such cases. He was moody, irritable, and pensive by turns, lost his appetite, neglected his stress, and devoted much time to playing tempestuously on his piano. Avoided Joe, but consoled himself by staring at her from his window, with a tragic face that haunted her dreams by night, and oppressed her with a heavy sense of guilt by day. Unlike some sufferers, he never spoke of his unrequited passion and would allow no one, not even Mrs. March, to attempt consolation or offer sympathy. On some accounts, this was a relief to his friends, but the weeks before his departure were very uncomfortable, and everyone rejoiced that the poor dear fellow was going away to forget his trouble and come home happy. Of course, he smiled darkly at their delusion, but passed it by with the sad superiority of one who knew that his fidelity, like his love, was unalterable. When the partying came, he affected high spirits, to conceal certain inconvenient emotions which seemed inclined to assert themselves. This gayity did not impose upon anybody, but they tried to look as if it did for his sake, and he got on very well till Mrs. March kissed him with a whisper full of motherly solicitude. Then feeling that he was going very fast, he hastily embraced them all round, not forgetting the afflicted Hannah and ran downstairs as if for his life. Joe followed a minute after to wave her hand to him if he looked round. He did look round, came back, put his arms about her as she stood on the step above him, and looked up at her face, which made his short appeal eloquent and pathetic. Oh, Joe, can't you? Teddy deer, I wish I could. That was all except a little pause. Then Laurie straightened himself up, said, It's alright, never mind, and went away without another word. Ah, but it wasn't alright, and Joe did mind. For while the curly head lay on her arm a minute after her hard answer,

she felt as if she had stabbed her dearest friend. And when he left her without a look behind him,

...