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Real Talk, Whole Life

Going Deeper: Emotional Labor & Why We’re So Tired w/ Vanessa Bennett

Real Talk, Whole Life

Cloud10

News, Social Sciences, Entertainment News, Science, Health & Fitness

4.71.3K Ratings

🗓️ 26 November 2025

⏱️ 40 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Stacy sits down with licensed depth therapist and author of the new book, The Motherhood Myth, Vanessa Bennett, to unpack why so many women feel overwhelmed, overextended, and exhausted by unseen emotional labor. Through the lens of depth psychology, they explore the “have it all” trap, the inner patriarchy, self-abandonment, inherited power systems, and the cultural scripts still shaping modern motherhood and partnership. From modeling conflict for our kids to untangling the sister wound and reclaiming our needs, this conversation offers clarity, validation, and a grounded path toward finally stepping off the hamster wheel. 0:00 | Vanessa Bennett & depth psychology 2:00 | Feminism, equality & the “have it all” trap 6:30 | Emotional labor, burnout & the hamster wheel 10:00 | Modeling conflict & repair for our kids 12:45 | Inner patriarchy & self-abandonment 16:00 | Power systems we inherit without realizing 18:30 | Marriage roles & old scripts that linger 22:00 | Sex, needs & emotional outsourcing 27:00 | Sister wound, witch wound & lost community 32:00 | Emotional intelligence as “both/and” 35:00 | Practical steps to stop self-abandoning 39:00 | Where to find Vanessa’s work See complete show notes and more at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠realeverything.com⁠⁠! Find Vanessa: vanessabennett.com instagram.com/vanessasbennett https://www.vanessabennett.com/books Find Stacy: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠realeverything.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠instagram.com/realstacytoth⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠missionmakersart.com⁠⁠ ⁠⁠missionalchemists.com⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0

Hello, everyone. I'm so excited to introduce you to our guests today. Vanessa Bennett is a licensed

0:17.4

psychotherapist and has become an expert as it relates to motherhood and all of the

0:25.1

feelings and complications that go into that, especially in the modern day and age.

0:31.3

And this is something Vanessa that I've been talking about on the show for a really long time.

0:35.6

I'm the mother of four, ages 15 to 20,

0:38.2

and have both adopted and have biological children. We were a foster family. So I have been,

0:44.4

I'm licensed to parent. I like to tell people, but I have been through the gamut in terms of

0:51.4

like parenting trainings and what kind of difficulties I could face

0:57.3

and the life that then gets disrupted and all the things that I think affect us.

1:05.0

I'm really super fortunate that I have a partner who wants to be a partner, but I know that

1:10.3

not everybody has all of those

1:12.5

things. And so I'm really excited about the resources that you share and the voice that you have.

1:19.5

Can you tell listeners a little bit about the work that you do?

1:23.7

Yeah, I mean, first I will say I am definitely not an expert on motherhood or parenting,

1:30.0

because I don't think anybody is. And I think that those who claim to be, probably we should

1:35.7

look at a little bit deeper. Yeah, my background is in depth psychology. So I come from more

1:41.6

of a Jungian background, which essentially means that while, of course, as a

1:46.0

therapist, I am trained to work with behaviors and work with, you know, relational difficulties

1:52.6

and such. My training, my expertise, if you will, is really more in working with that which cannot

1:58.9

be named. It's the unspoken language of the unconscious,

2:01.7

right? So I'm trained to really go deeper into the metaphor and the image and the dreams

2:09.5

and the symbolism and essentially the soul's journey to becoming fulfilled. We actually call

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