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Life Of Caesar

Goddamn it, Carl! – Vespasian #17

Life Of Caesar

Cameron Reilly & Ray Harris

History

4.4594 Ratings

🗓️ 30 March 2026

⏱️ 30 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

It's August 70 CE, and the siege of Jerusalem is entering its apocalyptic final act. In this episode, Cameron and Ray pick up where the last one left off — starving rebels launching desperate sorties against exhausted Roman legionaries, Titus ordering his men to burn down the silver-coated temple gates to finally crack open the last Jewish stronghold, and the mounting pressure on one of the ancient world's most sacred structures. Before the walls even fall, Cameron takes a deep dive into the remarkable cast of Jesuses and Ananiases haunting Josephus's account of the war — including a wild-eyed plebeian prophet named Jesus son of Ananias, who spent seven years and five months wandering Jerusalem's streets howling "Woe to Jerusalem!" until a Roman siege engine stone ended his career mid-prophecy. Cameron draws pointed connections between this forgotten street-prophet and the Gospel accounts of Jesus of Nazareth, noting that the Gospel of Matthew — written around 75–80 CE, after Jerusalem had already fallen — may owe more to Josephus's war stories than to genuine prophecy. Then history's most consequential act of arson takes centre stage: against Titus's explicit orders, an unnamed Roman soldier — dubbed "Carl" by Cameron and Ray in an extended bit of comedy gold — hurled a burning torch through a golden-framed window of the Temple, setting in motion a conflagration that consumed one of the ancient world's greatest buildings while Titus himself was still inside the Holy of Holies. The looting that followed was so spectacular it caused a gold glut across Syria, halving the price of the metal. Titus freed roughly 40,000 non-combatants into the smouldering ruin of their city — good news delivered alongside very bad news. The end of the siege is now finally within sight.

The post Goddamn it, Carl! – Vespasian #17 appeared first on Life Of The Caesars.

Transcript

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0:00.0

When in Rome?

0:02.0

Oh, when in Rome?

0:05.0

No!

0:06.0

Yeah!

0:07.0

Ray's got the sources, cams got a rant, two mics one roaming road.

0:24.8

Julius crossing Rubicons, toga in battle mode.

0:30.0

Welcome back.

0:30.5

The life of Vespasian Caesar, guy at Kung Fu the other day

0:40.1

said to me

0:41.0

have you seen this TV show called Britannia?

0:44.4

I was like no. He goes, you got to watch it, you're in it.

0:47.3

Like there's a character in it.

0:50.7

And he's you.

0:52.0

He looks like you.

0:53.3

I was watching it with my wife. I was like, oh my God, that's Cameron. He says he's got your, he looks like you. He's got your smile. He's got your evil laugh. He said he's the bad guy in it. That sounds right. No, no offense. No offense. And so, um, I looked at, I watched it. It's on SBS here.

1:14.5

So I go, which, he goes, oh, you're the bad guy.

1:16.9

So I watched the first episode.

1:19.1

And it's set in the 40s, C.E.

1:23.9

It's when Claudius sent troops to Britain as the, you know, the next phase of conquering Britain. Yeah. So I watch it. Chris, he goes, which one was you? I got no idea. I can't tell. I can't tell who it is. Um, I see him the next day at Kung Fu. He goes, did you watch it? He goes, what did you think? I go, I don't know which one. He goes, the main guy, Caesar. I'm like, oh, fuck. Okay. I say, A, that's not Caesar. That's Ayolus Plaudius. Right. A general under Claudius. He goes, oh, but Julius Caesar, he turns out. I said, no, B, he's not a bad guy. He's a Roman general. He said, oh, but Julius Caesar comes into it later. No, he doesn't, because Julius Caesar's been dead for 100 years at this point. He goes, no, he comes into it. Right. Like, no, he does. They go, listen to dream sequence, or they go back in time.

2:19.5

He goes, no, Julie Caesar goes out.

2:21.2

He goes, no, he doesn't.

2:22.1

He goes, yeah, I go, listen, motherfucker.

...

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