Goalscoring wildlife, giving the goalkeeper the eyes and lighting the blue touchpaper

For Our Sins: The Clichés Pod Archive

The Athletic

Soccer,, Sports

4.8 • 538 Ratings

🗓️ 20 September 2022

⏱️ 44 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker for the Adjudication Panel. On the agenda this week: a stock-take of the remaining Erling Haaland superlatives, commentators who greet certain goals with the words "AND HOW!", the maximum range a goalscorer can "give the goalkeeper the eyes" from and a delightfully subtle corruption of the old classic "hairdryer treatment".

Meanwhile, the panel decide the thresholds for "a matter of minutes", "lighting the blue touchpaper" and "no less than [Team X] deserved".

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Transcript

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0:00.0	The Athletic.
0:04.8	I'm sorry, you can sit there and look and play with all your silly machines as much as you like.
0:10.4	Is gas going to have a crack?
0:12.1	He is, you know.
0:12.9	Oh, he's there.
0:15.6	Brilliant.
0:18.7	But gee!
0:19.7	He's round the goalkeeper!
0:21.1	He's done it!
0:22.7	Absolutely incredible!
0:24.7	He launched himself six feet into the crowd, and Kung Fu kicked.
0:30.7	A supporter who was eyewit without a shadow of an out giving him lip.
0:35.3	Oh, I say!
0:37.2	It's amazing! He does it tame, I say, it's amazing.
0:38.4	It does it tame and tame and tame again.
0:41.3	Frank of the music, charge a glass.
0:45.3	This nation is going to dance all night.
0:50.2	Erling Harland, machine, animal or monster.
0:53.4	A deep dive into the gleeful gold commentary subgenre of
0:56.5	and how?
0:57.6	What's the maximum range you can give the goalkeeper of the eyes from?
1:00.5	Just how many minutes are in, a matter of minutes?
	...

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