Hey, it's Kelly, and at the end of every week, I like to share something true and useful,

something I stumbled over that gave me a burst of optimism, something you can share with friends

like an audio greeting card, something to help us all keep our eyes on what's working and what could be for the good of the order.

As the holiday season kicks in in earnest, here's a short list of things to keep handy. Throat lozenges,

scotch tape, a dustbuster, blankets, and plenty of extra forgiveness. Surely my family's upcoming gatherings won't be the only ones where guests might abhor

one another's positions on vaccines or build back better, and that's to make no mention

of the painful conflicts that pass between family members over a lifetime.

As we brace for conflict and maybe nurse grudges,

we would be wise to consider a posture of grace. If and when a full amnesty for past wrongs

or current wrongheadedness isn't possible, I strive to separate the offender from the offense.

That way, I can more easily muster compassion

for the actor, even if I can't manage clemency for the act. It's worth remembering,

also, that we practice forgiveness all the time. We forgive our parents for not understanding

when we're joking, for worrying about the wrong things, for asking

what TikTok is and rolling their eyes when we mention health care or climate change or organic

tofu, for bringing mortality into every room. We forgive our siblings for standing the sweater,

losing the sleeping bag, stealing the girl, for not seeing us as the adults

we've become, for holding us hostage over that one time we said that one thing, for being

smarter or more athletic or happier than we are, for having children who are smarter or more

athletic or happier than ours. We forgive our spouses for losing their phones so often,

for using our toothbrush, for coming home from work late for the last 10 years, for being

overly solicitous of the pretty but mean neighbor lady, for going on and on and never asking

...