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Hi there. I'm Chris Steyerwalt. And I'm Eliana Johnson.

Welcome to Inkstained Wretches, El Retcho's to its friends, where we break down what's going wrong and what's going right with the American News Media. Eliana Johnson, I got to tell you,

the happenstancical facial hair of the young men of America right now, I'm at a loss. So just the

loose random aggregations of scruffy facial hair, look, you want a beard,

you want to goatee, you want a mustache, you want lamb chop, sideburns, do whatever you want to do.

Everybody ought to do what they want to do.

I want you to talk to the women of America about not tolerating.

About incentivizing proper. Just groom it. Do something with it. It can't just be just a

random clumps of facial hair. I can't grow, if I could grow like a Ulysses-. Grant, if I could like, oh, if I could grow James

Garfield's beard, I would totally rock a Civil War General on the good side, beard. I would

definitely do that. But I can't. I can grow a wispy disaster. So I don't. If you can't grow a beard, don't just

walk around. Tell the women, don't accept in the men patchy facial hair.

I'll do my best to get that message out. Get the word out among your sisters. Tell them,

don't tolerate. Okay. Okay. Has Patrick ever had facial hair? Yes, I'm a fan. But I see him as potential

like looking good, looking learned and sophisticated. I'm a fan. Okay. He's not as much of a fan.

Does he go beard? Does he go go tea? What's he do? It's like just a little unshaven. Oh, a stubble.

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