Danny?

Yeah. You're 16. What's going on? Not much. What are you doing? What do you want? Um, I was having sex with my girlfriend a couple days ago. Mm-hmm. And, uh, my penis came out during intercourse, and she came down and landed on it. Mm-hmm. And now it's bent, and I, it like, really blue and purple, and I have, like, blood blisters in it.

Oh, boy.

You tore it.

Oh, boy.

And it hurts to even go pee. Oh, my God. Why don't you see a urologist, Danny? Well, I don't... Because my parents, you know, I'm really scared. I don't... Oh, for crying out loud.

I talk to my parents.

Well, tell him you shut the garage door on it or something.

You're riding your bike and felt... Yeah. You know what? Come up with something, would you, you jackass? Yeah. You're supposed to lie to your parents, right? Yeah. You're riding the bike, your feet came off the pedals, you dragged your nuts on the crossbar.

Yeah. But you got to get taken care of. I mean, I don't know. When the urologist comes back to your parents and tell them, this can only happen with a full erection, and then they're going to wonder who you're chasing on the bike. Hey, look, they're just going to want you to get better to any. They're not going to worry about how this happened, really. I mean, this is a pretty serious thing.

You think they are?

Yeah.

I mean, it's a pretty serious thing.

Do you think they are?

Yeah.

I mean, it's also another business, frankly. They think you're a virgin? Yeah, they do. Absolutely. Did they want that? I think. Well, that's not the issue right now. You need to get some care. Can you go to your doctor?

Yeah.

Do you have a regular doctor you just go to and get the ball rolling?

Yeah, I could.

You got to do that.

You got to do that. You've got to do it. I mean, right away tomorrow. How long ago did this happen? What? I'm trying to eat here. How long ago did this happen? It's happened two days ago. Drew's trying to punch the mic. Yeah, what do you want? What's going on? Two days ago. Yeah, I know, but he's about to ask me something. Yeah, another, yeah, I'm in a band. We recorded a song a couple days ago, and I heard a listener called before I let you... Yeah, you want to play it? It's called My P penis hurts? No, this is called Teenage Adeltrier. I don't know if I could play about 45 seconds of it for you. It's a great song. We recorded it for you. Okay, but you know, I always love those songs. Like, you ever listen to like old Michael Jackson songs and the Jackson 5 and Michael Jackson 7 and a half? And he's singing, girl, I just want to get next to you.

And it's like, you're not even whacking off yet, buddy.

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