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When we had several younger children in the home I remember that one would kind of

break a rule or provoke and it was so easy to be firm in my response. I mean you dared to cross my line or you dared to

I just told you not to do that and oh that can be frustrating but But in that moment, there are other things I could say to my child that could make a big difference.

I'm John Fuller with Dr. Danny Werta.

He's in charge of our parenting and youth department here at

focus on the family and Danny you're a parenting expert so you've got it

together but name talk about a time a friend of yours maybe didn't respond so

well when a child broke a rule disappointed

them or something else similar.

You know I've had a few of those as I'm thinking through the moments.

One of the big ones was when my son was playing

basketball and he had done really well the week before and was called up to play

on the higher team and had probably one of his worst games and we were so excited about this game and at the end as he was coming out he made so many mistakes.

I was wanting to say hey what happened here and what happened there?

And I remembered a time when my dad asked me that when he came after a game and

how I just wasn't ready for that type of conversation with my dad and I didn't feel loved in that moment.

And so going back to that place, I said, I want my son to feel loved as he comes out.

That's going to be more important. And it was every single ounce of emotional

momentum inside of me wanted to kind of that coach side, hey son you could have done this, you could

have that man that pass. and so I stopped all those

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