Give the Lobster a Knife
The Distraction: A Defector Podcast
Defector Media
4.4 • 2.5K Ratings
🗓️ 2 July 2026
⏱️ 49 minutes
🔗️ Recording | Apple Podcasts | RSS
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
It’s summer vacation season, and that means a classic Drew and Roth solo episode. Many digressions ensue, then they open up the funbag to answer real questions from real listeners, like: what’s the wildest thing they’ve done while intoxicated? and what’s the most disgusting raw food? Happy summer, everyone!
Do you want to hear your question answered on the pod? Well, give us a call at 909-726-3720. That is 909-PANERA-0!
Stuff We Talked About
- Doctor Who
- A record
- Jasper’s Apple TV theory
- Waking up with a turd in your shorts
- Elder pizza excellence
Sponsors
- Factor, where you can get 50% off and free daily greens per box
- Mint Mobile, where new customers can get three months of premium wireless service for $15 a month
Credits
- Hosts: Drew Magary & David Roth
- Producer: Brandon Grugle
- Editor: Mischa Stanton
- Production Services & Ads: Multitude Podcasts
- Subscribe to Defector!
About The Show
The Distraction is Defector's flagship podcast about sports (and movies, and art, and sandwiches, and certain coastal states) from longtime writers Drew Magary and David Roth. Every week, Drew and Roth tackle subjects, both serious and impossibly stupid, with a parade of guests from around the world of sports and media joining in the fun! Roth and Drew also field Funbag questions from Defector readers, answer listener voicemails, and get upset about the number of people who use speakerphone while in a public bathroom stall. This is a show where everything matters, because everyone could use a Distraction. Head to defector.com for more info.
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | We're back. We're back. It's a distraction. I'm Drew. That's Rod. That's time for another vacation cast, Roth. Oh, this is amazing. We're both traveling through time, actually in separate directions right now, which is amazing. Yeah, like coming from bracketing dimensions into a single dimension. |
| 0:22.3 | It's never been attempted before. |
| 0:23.8 | This is what I think the show Doctor Who is about. |
| 0:26.8 | I've never seen it. |
| 0:27.8 | I've watched Doctor Who once when I was very small and I hated it so much that I've hated it ever since. |
| 0:32.4 | Even though it's run for like 40 seasons and had like 17 different iterations and shit like that. I just... |
| 0:40.4 | I think it's probably actually cool. This is a really, this is the stuff you can't get anywhere |
| 0:45.2 | else. Two guys who haven't seen Doctor Who talking about how they think Doctor Who is. But I think |
| 0:49.9 | it seems like it might be cool now. Like they've got like good people in it. But I remember seeing the like 60s or 70s one when I was a kid too and being like, this is fucking for nerds. Yeah, like it was on like a stage. And I think it was like I think Tom Hagan was the, that's not right. That's the guy from the godfather. That was the concierge. It was Tom. Tom, what's his face? he was one of the doctors. And, you know, like, and there was like a big, like a big blob, like a big alien blob he was talking to. And he was like, hey, everything looked very homemade. And yes, that did have that kind of like, like, the sort of thing where like I was, you know, the idea of me looking at it as a young kid and being like, this is for nerds. It's like that's the Spider-Man pointing at Spider-Man thing right there. You know, like I didn't have a leg to stand on with that shit. But there was something about it that just felt bulliable. Like it was just like this kind of Ponzi British, like cheapness that I was instantly put off. Yeah, and I'm an anglophile, too. So I would like, I eat up all the British shit coming out, you know, all that. So, but in the case of Doctor Who, I was like, no. If they were ever like, oh, Stephen Merchant decided to make a version of it, I'd watch the |
| 2:00.8 | fuck out of that. |
| 2:02.0 | But that's... |
| 2:02.3 | Yeah, and there's David Tennant seasons. I pretty, I would watch basically anything David Tennant does for the most part. He's a good. He's a good at. That was the, uh, the broad church guy, right? Broadchurch. Miller, what is the point of view, that guy? I hate the solve. We love to do that. |
| 2:16.1 | I hate the air. |
| 2:17.0 | That's great. |
| 2:18.2 | I, uh, you know what? |
| 2:19.7 | Well, we're, I mean, look, |
| 2:21.2 | it's an all tangent episode, but I was actually, I was reading about Dr. Who, because I was reading |
| 2:25.9 | a book about the KLS. Oh, really? Yeah. And someone, so your music bio Gambit has expanded |
| 2:33.6 | beyond the borders of like music you actually listen to for pleasure. |
| 2:37.1 | That's right, because KLF was not like, it wasn't enormous here in America. |
| 2:41.9 | Like, I remember 3 a.m. Eternal. |
| 2:43.6 | Like, K-LF. |
... |
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