All aboard! I say! I say! Better hurry, sir. Train's about to depart.

I've got an awful stench, Charlie. Don't worry, Madame. Don't be reluctant. Oh, thank you so much.

But will this train get us to Troor, eh? We missed the 815. You're in luck. This is your last chance tonight.

It stops the Troor. Change at foul veins, sir. There's a connection.

Oh, it's a slow one. Oh, thank heavens. We don't mind how slow it is, do we, Charlie?

No, my darling. We don't. Let's be quick, sir. Right, oh, come on, Pete.

Up you go, mate. Don't forget your bag, sir.

My hat, book, Charlie! What? Oh, Lord! I've told you where my head is tonight.

Hey, sir! Oh, thank you. I'm sir. Yes, may I wish you a very long and a happy marriage, sir.

What? You were late. Right, oh, come on, Pete.

Up you go, mate. Don't forget your bag, sir.

My hat, book, Charlie! What? Oh, Lord! I've told you where my head is tonight.

Hey, sir! Oh, thank you. I'm sir. Yes, may I wish you a very long and a happy marriage, sir.

What? You were late to show our combs, my any child?

We made my deductions, sir, from the confetti on your shoulders.

Oh, Lord! How embarrassing! Good luck, sir!

Madam! Thank you! Thank you very much!

All aboard!

The Ghost Train by Arnold Ridley, adapted for radio by Sean McKenna,

with Adam Godley, Emily Joyce and Anne Beach.

My man! Madam? This train will take me to Toro, won't it? No, madam.

But they said it excites you. Oh, dear, my sister is waiting for me at Toro.

...