Hi, welcome back to the Personality Hacker podcast. My name is Joel Mark Witt and I'm

Antonio Dodge. This week we have a guest who we've had before on the show. His name

is Jason Gattis. Jason, welcome to Personality Hacker. Thanks guys. Great to be here.

So Jason, for somebody that's either a new listener or hasn't heard you on the show

before, tell us a little bit more about yourself. How can somebody know you in 30 seconds to

a minute or so? What's Jason all about? Yeah, thanks. I call myself a relationship student

and teacher because I'm always learning and then I share what I learned in my own marriage

with my kids and with the students I teach. I share with them. I'm like, oh, this worked. That

didn't work. So I'm humbling learning along the way and I'm founder of the Relationship

School. I train relationship coaches. I'm just a nerd when it comes to relational psychology.

Yeah. And we're talking about your book today. Getting to zero, how to work through conflict

in your high stakes relationships. What, why did you name it getting to zero? What does that

even mean? Yeah, I found myself saying that over and over again and I heard other people say it

as well. When we're in conflict, if let's say you and I Joel are in conflict and we want to get

back to a better place and we're triggered, we're, you know, on a trigger scale, we could say zero

to 10. Let's say we're at five because we're having a pretty normal but, you know, a little heated

argument. I want to get down, I want to get that number down as close to zero as possible because

I know that you and I both are going to feel better when we're at a zero, like a baseline of being

in a good place and being connected again. When I'm in an argument, Jason, I don't want to get to zero.

That's the last place I want to go. Like, I don't, I mean, I kind of want to get there.

But like, I'm upset and to go to zero makes me feel like I'm losing something, I'm letting go

of the thing I was frustrated about. And do you find this with most people you do work with?

...