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In the beginning...

There was nothing.

The back ends of our animal ancestors that swam the seas hundreds of millions of years ago were blank.

Religating the entry and exit of all food stuffs to a single multi-purpose hole.

Animals were serially monogamous with their meals, taking food in one glob at a time,

then expelling the scraps through the same hole.

The appearance of the anus was momentous in animal evolution,

turning a one-hole digestive sack into an open-ended tunnel.

Suddenly, animals had the luxury of downing multiple meals without needing to fuss with disposal in between.

Digestive tracks lengthened and regionalized,

...