Getting married with same-sex attraction, His sexual past hurts me, and Am I a failure without a big Catholic family?| ACW363
Ask Christopher West
Theology of the Body Institute
4.9 • 549 Ratings
🗓️ 15 December 2025
⏱️ 53 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
–This episode is sponsored by Truthly–
Questions answered this episode:
- There are many stories of Catholic men who experience same-sex attraction and go on to marry and have families, even though their predominant attraction remains toward men. Many encourage others not to dismiss marriage before exploring whether God could be calling them to it. I’m honestly confused. Would it be right for me to pursue a relationship with a woman without being attracted to her, without longing to share in the marital embrace? Some say attraction to their wives arose later in dating, but it doesn’t seem right to start a romantic relationship without attraction.
- I’ve been struggling for many months with the sexual past of my boyfriend. It’s been really difficult not to take it personally—feeling deeply hurt and offended that he didn’t wait for me, even though we didn’t know one another when those things occurred. He is now committed to living chastely after realizing that fornication was unfulfilling and a lie, thanks be to God. How can I place the proper weight on his past without taking it personally in a way that sabotages the beautiful relationship we’ve built?
- I converted to the Catholic faith 7 years ago from an atheistic background. From my parents I have a strong inclination to be a perfectionist, even during the marital embrace. I’m anxious not to fail, and I often think I will be a failure if we don’t get 3 children. We have 2 on earth and 1 in heaven. I feel unworthy compared with traditional huge Catholic families. How can I get rid of this anxiety and be free?
Resources:
Colorado Ski Retreat with Christopher
Sexual Integration & Redemption Course
Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | From the Theology of the Body Institute, this is the Ask Christopher West podcast. |
| 0:19.2 | Happy Advent, everybody. |
| 0:21.1 | Yes, hi listeners. |
| 0:22.2 | Christmas is soon upon us. |
| 0:26.1 | Joyous season. |
| 0:27.5 | It's the celebration of the theology of the body. |
| 0:30.6 | I often say to my audiences, and you've been to a lot of my talks, haven't you, Wendy? |
| 0:35.7 | So you may have heard me say this on an occasion or two. |
| 0:39.0 | If you believe in Christmas, you believe in the theology of the body. |
| 0:43.6 | In the theology of the body. |
| 0:45.7 | Because, this is a quote from JP2, through the fact that the word of God became flesh, the body entered theology. |
| 0:57.7 | Do you know the next line? Through the main door. Through the main door. There it is. If it seems strange to speak of your body as a theology, as a revelation of the |
| 1:06.0 | mystery of God, it shouldn't, if you believe, in Christmas. Do people know this? |
| 1:11.9 | Do people know that this is what we're celebrating? |
| 1:15.3 | I don't get the impression that people really comprehend this. |
| 1:21.1 | And I'm not claiming I comprehend it, |
| 1:23.1 | because these are mysteries beyond comprehension. |
| 1:26.4 | But it's so important that we allow the incarnation, the scandal of the incarnation, the scandal |
| 1:37.3 | of a God, I'm just going to say it, it's going to scandalize, but this is the incarnation. The scandal of a God |
| 1:45.8 | who farted. Right? That's, we don't, we don't, we don't, we don't. I, shit, I, this, |
| 1:55.3 | this is the reality. Let's face it, a God who just loves us in a spiritual way is much more becoming than a God who farted to our typical human sensibilities. |
| 2:07.6 | He was fully functional in all of his bodily functions. We believe in a God who shat himself. This and his mother had to change the diapers. |
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