In the New Testament, Paul writes extensively about relationships, especially relationships

in the home and children are instructed to obey parents and moms and dads were commanded not to

provoke our sons and daughters and there's a sense of mutual trust and respect

that is fostered in the home. I'm John Fuller with Dr. Danny

Dany Werta. He heads up our parenting team and Danny I have learned over the

years that being harsh doesn't foster respect. It might get attention, it might cut through the

clutter, but it doesn't lead to a posture of respect. That's a hard lesson to learn.

It is and many factors come into that, right?

A person may have been raised by a parent

that was very authoritarian and it's all rules

and there's very little warmth and so it's coming out in that way.

It could be that there's a lot of stress in a person's life and you just have no

patience and you're just popping and think that you know I'm trying to guide my kids here and you have very little

patience. Only you know really what's happening inside but harshness never really

gets any kind of response that is long lasting from a child.

You may get a fearful obedience in the moment, but in the long term you lose more and

more of the connection and the respect and the true steadfast obedience that's

a loving obedience instead of a fearful obedience.

And many times a fearful obedience comes with a rebellion behind your back.

And in your face, they will want to act a certain way and apart from you they may speak unkind words or

completely disobey until they get caught and so know that harshness may feel in the moment like the way to go to get a message across.

Sternness is different along with warmth and love in a relationship that is fostered throughout the days and moments where you show that affection

...