Get Off My Lawn Podcast #64 | I had farts last night that could have ended my marriage

Get Off My Lawn Podcast w/ Gavin McInnes

303246

Getoffmylawn, Comedy, Podcast, Society & Culture, Gavinmcinnes

4.7 • 5.1K Ratings

🗓️ 6 July 2018

⏱️ 44 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

This ep is all farts all the time as I delve into how bad flatulence can effect how your wife feels about you. Being Scottish and also a severe alcoholic means I have a weak stomach that is constantly being abused. That leads to toots that are so severe, I’ve often had people in public assume there was some kind of chemical spill (not in Glasgow, of course, they know what time it is there because they have the same problems). I make a few small tangents about not being vulnerable around your significant other but this ep is almost fanatical in it’s dedication to fart talk. Actually, if it was a talk show it would be called Fart Talk with Gavin McInnes.

Transcript

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0:00.0	I had Farts last night that could have ruined my marriage.
0:07.0	You have to understand with marriage, it's not over as soon as she says I do.
0:12.5	You can't just become a fat pig and start farting and walking around nude,
0:16.0	although I walk around nude, which the kids don't seem to appreciate very much.
0:22.0	Fuck that, it's my body, I'm not ashamed of my body, and I sleep nude.
0:25.5	I don't understand people who sleep in clothes.
0:28.0	Don't you want your butthole to breathe?
0:30.0	I gotta arrow my sack.
0:32.0	The idea of constantly, like my wife, when she goes to bed,
0:36.0	it looks like she's going in an arctic expedition.
0:39.0	She has like 10 layers on.
0:41.0	And people with even pajamas, they're so hot.
0:45.0	I like nude as a jaybird.
0:47.0	You crawl in there, you got fresh sheets, and you slither in there like a little snake.
0:54.0	Just had a shower.
0:56.0	Get in there with the fresh, crispy sheets, a nice crisp duvet.
1:00.0	I adapted to the French Ways when I lived in Quebec for 10 years,
1:04.0	and I like a duvet, nothing else.
1:06.0	I don't get sheets, sheets are stupid.
1:08.0	If you're cold, you put on the duvet, if you're hot, you just take it off
1:11.0	and just let those parts air.
1:13.0	Your anal lips need to breathe.
	...

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