Get Off My Lawn Podcast #48 | I invented a new diet

Get Off My Lawn Podcast w/ Gavin McInnes

303246

Getoffmylawn, Comedy, Podcast, Society & Culture, Gavinmcinnes

4.7 • 5.1K Ratings

🗓️ 8 May 2018

⏱️ 31 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

I’ve lost almost a pound a day with a new diet I invented called “Beer Starvation.” All you do is grab a beer and nurse it every time you’re starving. The only time you can eat is at dinner. That’s it. The end result is a smaller stomach which means, when you finally do eat, you only need a few bites. All this fancy exercise and paleo this and gluten that is just lazy people trying to cheat the basic truth that all you have to do to lose weight is burn more calories than you take in.

Transcript

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0:00.0	I invented a new diet.
0:04.8	Some of my lady friends are denying that.
0:09.8	You didn't invent a new diet because I've been talking about this quite a bit.
0:13.4	I'm very proud of myself. But I feel like I've discovered something in the chick world because dieting is a chick thing.
0:20.7	And so I try it out and I just nail it instantly.
0:25.0	And I'm like, no, it's actually harder than that.
0:28.0	The emperor is new clothes. These women who have been buying their Pendlet Tins where they have a $3,000 bicycle that yells at you
0:36.4	or go into the sole cycle class or all this yoga crap, yoga.
0:41.0	Yeah, I'm really working out. I stretched.
0:45.0	God, Jim Gold was telling me that I'm trying to defend yoga.
0:49.0	I'd like to see you last.
0:52.0	Yeah, it's painful. That doesn't mean you're burning calories.
0:57.0	Go stab yourself. That's not burning calories. You're just stretching.
1:02.0	It's just painful stretching. Yoga should be reserved for people who have been caught shoplifting.
1:07.0	And instead of bogging down the courts and wasting cops time, you have to go to a room in the back and stretch until you...
1:13.0	It's like stretching rack, right? It's a medieval torture. It's good.
1:18.0	But I noticed a couple weeks ago. I think this is because I started driving my motorcycle to the train station and I used to ride my bicycle.
1:27.0	And I noticed I was getting fat. So I switched back to bicycle.
1:32.0	Well, that wasn't solving the problem.
1:36.0	The problem was I couldn't see my penis anymore.
1:40.0	I was in the shower, I was looking down at the water cascading across this giant beer belly
1:47.0	and the drops were falling. And I couldn't see what was going on with the penis drops.
	...

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