We are Ken Jennings and John Roderick. We speak to you from our present, which we can only assume is your distant past, the turbulent time that was the early 21st century.

Fearing the great cataclysm that will surely befall our civilization, we began this monumental

reference of strange and obscure human knowledge.

These recordings represent our attempt to compile and preserve wonders and esoterica that would otherwise be lost.

So whether you're listening from an advanced civilization or have just reinvented the technology to decrypt our transmissions,

this is our legacy to you.

This is our time capsule.

This is the omnibus. Oh, You have accessed entry 524. J.B. 1,808.

Certificate number 34620. George Bush's Crack. Number 3, 4,6, 20.

George Bush's crack dealer.

This, this is crack cocaine.

Seized a few days ago by drug enforcement agents in a park just across the street from the White House.

How did you get my phone address book?

Is that what I'm called on your phone? Oh look

Connie it's George Bush's crack dealer calling. Hey Ken is again I'm changing it to that

right now. I think we can all agree that crack is whack. Crack is

crack is bad. Extremely whiter. Have you been following kind of the recent

change I know you love the discourse. I do. You love to keep an eye on the finger on the pulse love the discourse. I do.

You love to keep an eye on the finger on the pulse of the discourse.

You know I do.

Have you been following kind of the increasing unfashionability of Crack as metaphor?

Oh, because it has overtone.

...