The kettle's boiled, Vic.

Great, perfect timing. Just a dash of milk for me, please, mate.

Here you go. Should we get started then?

Have you ever woken up on a Sunday morning and said, I'm never drinking again,

and then found yourself waving 50 bucks at a barman by happy hour?

Are you wondering why everyone else can stop at one,

while you head to a dodgy after-party with a weird bloke called Disco Dave?

If so, it might be time to take a deeper look at your relationship with your reliable social crutch, alcohol.

On each episode, we'll investigate our own dysfunctional dealings with booze

and find out if it's possible to stop this deeply ingrained habit before things get too messy.

Yep, we're going to open up a shame shed of humiliating drinking stories

to help you understand why waking up from a booze coma each weekend with a kebab sticking out of your top pocket might actually be negatively impacting your health.

Hamish and I are here to delve into what it's like being sober.

An unwanted warts and all look into why giving up those cheeky pints or putting down those mummy wines will make you feel happier, help your anxiety in mental health, and turn you into the most sparkly, authentic version of you. Won't that mean I become boring, though, Vic? Well, Hamish, we'll just have to wait and see. I'm Victoria Vanstone. I'm Hamish Adams Cairns. And this is Sober Awkward.

Yeah, so my nan put a biscuit on the table when it had chocolate on it and somebody had already cut their toenails and she put her chocolate biscuit on top of the toenails

and not realising they sort of melted into the biscuit.

And then she ate the biscuit and wondered what was all stuck in her teeth. Oh my God. Yeah, gross. You got any funny stories about your nan? No, none. Oh, typical, Alan. No stories about anything, has he? He's cheery today. Yeah, he's always cheery. He's just welcoming us into his pleasure dome.

Oh, God, that is exactly as creepy as it sounds. That's a bit sexual. Alan's Sex Pleasuredome, yeah. How's your week being, Mick? Yeah, it's all right. You know, usual ailments in my house. There's always something going on. I've had a bit of a dodgy hip this week, Hamish. How old are you? I don't know. I'm falling apart.

I've been limping around the house like a pirate.

Oh, Hamish. How old are you? I don't know. I'm falling apart.

I've been limping around the house like a pirate. Yeah, I don't know what's going on. Hopefully it's just going to get better and I won't have to go and have it removed. Like everything else I have to have removed. How about you? How is your first week? It's been real., yeah, the first week of no drinking, I've had a few social events, nothing too crazy. I guess that's the advantage. This is a good tip, actually. If you're thinking about giving up booze, move somewhere where you know very few people and have a child because your social life explodes. Yeah. in the, not explodes, it implodes. Implodes. It implodes. It implodes.

So I'm not getting calls all the time.

...