Hey, does your listeners just meet a day? I thought I would answer your questions about gas lighting.

A number of you submitted questions about gas lighting. We did some episodes about it in the past.

So if you want those full deep dives, I would listen to those first. You can go to the search bar and search for gas lighting and find those other episodes.

And you can also go to our website and go to the episode list and search for gas lighting.

So first, let's review the definition of gas lighting. This is a term that has been in psychology and psychotherapy,

and particularly the field of intimate partner violence or domestic violence for centuries, for decades.

So it's a term that I've been familiar with for 25 years and has only been recently used in pop culture over the past,

I would say in earnest in the past five years. And every time I would hear it being used in the lay public, I thought,

I don't think they understand what gas lighting means because I don't think that's a, I don't think it applies.

So let me provide you after reading many articles and thinking about it myself. This is a compilation of several different definitions.

To purposely manipulate someone by psychological means to lack confidence in their own memory, perception, judgment, for example,

right from wrong or sanity, often with the purpose of controlling the victim, to question themselves in general, not just one issue,

and it can either be successful or unsuccessful. So let me, you know, drill down in this a little bit.

So to purposely manipulate someone, to gas light in the clinical literature is usually in an abusive relationship,

and it is to purposely manipulate the victim, the gas lighter knows I am going to try to screw with this person's mind,

because if they question their own reality, then I will have more control over them.

Now, sometimes it's an abusive relationship, it's not exactly conscious, it's more in the moment,

but it's definitely an effort to campaign that someone goes on to establish, I'm always right and you're always wrong.

And therefore, I will have more control. So it's a part of the overall control matrix that the person builds.

So to purposely manipulate the victim by psychological means, meaning that you mess with someone's mind,

to lack confidence in their own memory, perception, judgment, or sanity, meaning that you say,

I don't remember that happening, and no one else remembers that happening, you must have a really, really bad memory.

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