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Game of Thrones for Morons

Deadcast

Deadspin

Sports, News, Sports News

4.8535 Ratings

🗓️ 23 May 2019

⏱️ 54 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Luis Paez-Pumar joins Drew and Roth in an attempt to explain Game of Thrones (all of it) to them. SPOILERS ABOUND!

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Transcript

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0:00.0

We're back.

0:14.6

We're back.

0:15.3

I'm Drew.

0:16.8

That's David Rod.

0:17.6

With us today is a very special guest.

0:19.4

The one only, Luis Bias Pumar. Luis, everybody! Oh, wow. Hello. There he is. Very excited to be here. Once again, that agro-dedspin enthusiasm, we all know and cherish. Let me take you inside the game for a minute. Mondado was like, what do you sound like when you're excited before restarted? because she was trying to set levels for him, and he was like, I honestly don't know. So, that's it.

0:41.3

I mean, it, Mondadov is like, what do you sound like when you're excited before restarted? Because she was trying to set levels for him, and he was like, I honestly don't know.

0:39.5

So, that's it.

0:54.0

I mean, I'll get excited later on in the episode, but, you know, got to ease into it. Yeah, when we do a whole segment on Justice Winslow, you're going to get in. Oh, my God. Yes. They'll have to mute me for that. Luis is like, let me hit a few jewels before I can really get amped up properly. He's out of, again, just behind the scenes info, he's out of pods.

0:58.2

So. to mute me for that. Louis is like, let me hit a few jewels before I can really get amped up properly. He's out of, again, just behind the scenes, info, he's out of pods. So he's not. I have my emergency stash at the office, but not with me at the studio. It's good for me because I would be very distracted by him ripping fat plumes and would probably lose my train of thought. It would also be very loud.

1:12.7

We got a notice from our middle school saying there was going to be a conference about the

1:17.1

Jewel threat. Oh my God. Is there like a guy like a like a retired DEA agent who travels around

1:23.2

being like, Jewel, you've heard about it, parents. What does it mean? Show hands., is there going to be like a presentation or? I don't, I assume it's going to be like a PowerPoint and in a very hot gymnasium. Yeah. With parents raising hands and being like, my son, Jules, betel nut pods. Is that okay? You know, shit like that. They had one of those about pot at my school and it was a

1:46.4

friend's dad led it he was like a ex law enforcement guy who she was so embarrassed about it we never

1:52.7

had any like substance ones we just had like abstinence ones yeah that would be for us this one was for

1:58.7

our parents productive oh oh yeah yeah i mean as far as i, our parents also did not have any for substance, even though we lived in Miami, which was prime, like teens doing horrible things. It's more like how much cocaine is too much for your growing child. Yeah. The answer is always any, but, you know. my wife was concerned about jewels, and she's like, one jewel pod is like a pack of cigarettes. I was like, yeah, but they don't, it's not, you don't smoke at all at once unless you're insane. I mean, I've done that a couple of times. Yeah, Luis, your thoughts? Yeah. Well, okay, here's the thing. it is very easy when you're, like, anxious about something to just not notice how much you're using it. There's been a couple of, like, I've been writing something on deadline where I'll, you know, smoke an entire one in, I don't know, like four or five hours. And that's not great. You probably don't want to do that. Do you feel weird at the end of it? No, and that is maybe the weirdest part. Like, I feel like I should be lightheaded or something, but I'm usually fine. That's like with cigarettes, like your body is, like your throat will be burnt and your body is telling you like you're like killing me like much faster than ordinary, you know, for you? Like, why are you doing this?

3:07.9

I will say after I have one cigarette now that I've been drilling for, I don't know, like eight months, like I feel horrible. Like, I feel like I want to die. So I think that's a good thing, you know? I have no desire to smoke cigarettes now. But Drew will know for sure when the presentation is done. Yeah'm picturing now, because Luis said he does it while writing,

3:25.9

so I'm picturing of like a fedora and like a tumblerful of whiskey and like a typewriter

3:30.5

and just like banging out like hard-boiled copy while sucking on a jewel.

3:35.3

The combination of smoking like a Roku while banging away on an old manual typewriter is really doing it for me.

3:41.2

Visually, that's very rich.

3:44.1

Just hard boy, just cigarettes and alcohol, but jewels and alcohols.

...

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